Jewish World Review May 21, 2008 / 16 Iyar 5768
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
President Bush suggested in Egypt Sunday that Americans should drive more fuel-efficient cars. Not everyone is sold on the idea. The other day a pedestrian in West Hollywood was hit by a Prius and he had to go to the hospital and get it removed.
Hillary Clinton went to church in Kentucky on Sunday where the pastor preached about adultery. Everyone was embarrassed. You'd think that when the Secret Service called ahead they would be able to tell the church secretary which Clinton was coming.
Mike Huckabee made an appearance on NBC's Meet the Press on Sunday. The network needed a moral conservative for balance. Now that gay marriage has been upheld by courts, NBC News anchors are free to tell Obama just how much they really love him.
Barack Obama began addressing military and diplomatic concerns in his campaign speeches last week. He raised worries when he said he's campaigned in fifty-seven states. Apparently President Bush has center field so messed up that nobody can play it.
Big Brown took the second leg of the Triple Crown Saturday at the Preakness in Baltimore. Afterwards his owners sold his stud rights to a horse farm for millions of dollars. Not every horse is so lucky, nowadays most of them get put out to carpool.
The National Fine Arts Commission ordered the Dr. Martin Luther King National Mall statue re-sculpted, saying it looks like Mao. We know how this ends. By the time the statue is approved everybody looking at it will think that Robert Redford has a dream.
The Lundberg Survey said gas prices could be four dollars a gallon by Memorial Day. Don't worry, we may get it all back in gold by the end of the summer. The U.S. Olympic track and field coach just entered American gasoline prices in the high jump.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton