Jewish World Review May 12, 2008 / 7 Iyar 5768
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Frank Sinatra is pictured on the new forty-two cent stamp out Monday as the Postal Service pays tribute to Old Blue Eyes. They are increasing the price of the stamp by one penny. The only way they could get Frank Sinatra was to raise the cover charge.
Roger Clemens' mistress Mindy McCready claimed she was seventeen when they met, not fifteen. He's also linked to three other women. Right now he wants to step back and spend a little private time with his family, if he can remember where he left them.
The new Grand Theft Auto IV video game made five hundred million dollars in its first week in stores. It provides fast action and guns and sex and car theft and violence. The video game's so addictive that rehab centers wean you off it with crack.
Hillary Clinton had to loan her campaign six million dollars on Wednesday. Her game plan was flawed. The strategy to win the Democratic nomination by appealing to white voters collapsed when it turned out they've been Republicans for forty years.
Hillary Clinton angered liberals Thursday by quoting the Associated Press poll saying only she can carry white voters for Democrats. Reaction was frenzied. It's the first time a poll of Americans has ever been labeled hate speech by the New York Times.
Hillary Clinton said in West Virginia Thursday she will stay in the race until there's a nominee. She's favored to win big in West Virginia Tuesday. She can't claim she is from West Virginia, but she can say that her mother and father both smoked.
Barack Obama went to the U.S. Capitol to monitor a secret meeting of uncommitted super-delegates. He's been campaigning forever. He knows every road in Indiana like the back of his hand but he had to ask the tour guide how to get to his Senate office.
George McGovern switched his support from Hillary Clinton to Barack Obama Monday. Thirty-six years ago Hillary worked all year as a McGovern for President volunteer, and he turned on her the day before her biggest primary. One by one, Baby Boomers continue to wrack our brains trying to remember exactly what it was we had against Richard Nixon.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
Comment by clicking here.
© 2007, Argus Hamilton