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February 10, 2012
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David G. Savage: Why activists may not be in a hurry to have High Court rule on alternative marriage
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Kimberly Palmer: How to actually enjoy -- relaxing, financially -- your vacation
February 8, 2012
Warren Richey: Why momentous Prop. 8 ruling might not satisfy gay-rights groups
Menachem Wecker: Though Controversial, LL.M.'s Can Lead to Specialized Legal Jobs
The Kosher Gourmet byDana Velden: Going to the bother of making soup? You know it better be good. This CREAM OF TOMATO SOUP certainly is! And it's a cinch to make, too (Includes techinques and serving secrets)
February 7, 2012
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Jeffrey Fleishman: In newly democratic Egypt, tens of democracy activists jailed, to stand trial; their groups are 'threatening the stability of the homeland'
Julie Deardorff : Researchers say antioxidants may not be that effective and could do more harm than good
Mark Clayton: How did Anonymous hackers eavesdrop on FBI and Scotland Yard?
February 3, 2012
Edmund Sanders : Israeli official says Iran is creating missile that could reach East Coast of US
Victoria Kim: Immigrant-smuggling ring used black drivers to avoid racial profiling
February 2, 2012
Jim Carney: Wrong number call may have saved her life
Reza Kahlili : Ex-CIA spy in Iran's Revolutionary Guard: What Obama doesn't grasp about striking deals with Tehran
Tina Susman: For woodchuck rescuer, every day is Groundhog Day
February 1, 2012
Brian Bennett: US officials see increasing threat of domestic attack from Iran
Emily Brandon: How to Take Advantage of New 401(k) Fee Disclosures
January 31, 2012
January 30, 2012
Paul Richter and Ramin Mostaghim: Misreading Teheran's limits -- deadly and economically devastating as they may be -- is a risk administration, Europe seem willing to take
Suzanne Bohan: Warning: Nap-deprived tots missing more than sleep, study finds
Meg Handley: Banks Revamping Rewards Programs to Woo Customers
January 27, 2012
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Yochonon Donn: In liberal New York City, fervently-Orthodox Jews may soon be getting a district to call their own
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Katy Hopkins: New budget rules may affect how much money you get for college
January 26, 2012
Ed Koch: To the New York Times, calling for the murder of Jews by those capable of having their incitement taken seriously isn't news
Jeannine Stein: Mental illness struck one in five U.S. adults in 2010: Report
January 25, 2012
Richard Simon: House passes two bills endorsing the use of religious symbols at military memorials
Fred Weir: Putin: Multiethnic Russia cannot survive as a US-style 'melting pot'; must find its own way
Susan Johnston: 5 Sneaky Coupon Strategies Consumers Should Watch Out For
January 24, 2012
Carol Clark: The price of your soul: How your brain decides whether to 'sell out'
Caroline B. Glick: America lost most in 'Arab Spring'. Sadly, many voters still don't grasp the extent
Warren Richey: Drug criminal scores win in GPS ruling from conservative-leaning high court
Erika Bolstad: Black conservatives gather to talk about gaining strength
January 23, 2012
Melissa Dribben: Jewish voters to play a key role in Florida's Republican primary
Jordan Rau: In quest to grow, Catholic hospital system will announce this morning its break from church
Ali Safi: U.S. envoy gives Taliban terms for peace talks
January 19, 2012
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January 17, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney Jr.: No-kidding red lines: U.S. response to an Iranian nuke may be bluster, but Israel's won't be
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January 13, 2012
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Alexia Elejalde-Ruiz: Thriving through touch: Gentle massage helps older people with low mobility improve in mind and body
January 12, 2012
Warren Richey: Landmark Supreme Court ruling a 'resounding win' for religious groups
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John Fauber : Statins found to raise diabetes risk in postmenopausal women
Katy Hopkins : Consider This Before You Pay for an Online Degree
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January 11, 2012
Shari Roan: Millions of atrial fibrillation sufferers at risk for devastating, but preventable, stroke
Tom Hussain: Pakistan -- recipient of more than $21 billion in civilian and military aid -- speeds pursuit of Iranian pipeline, defying US
David G. Savage: High court signals it won't be loosening TV's 'indecency' rules
Stephen Ceasar: Oklahoma's Islamic law amendment can't go into effect, court rules
January 10, 2012
Reza Kahlili: From an ex-CIA spy: US must exploit new split in Iran's Revolutionary Guard
Karen Kaplan: Study: Nicotine replacement products ineffective when used in real-life situations
January 9, 2012
Michael Doyle: Put through legal hell over dream home, couple fought back hard --- all the way to Supreme Court
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Jewish World Review
May 19, 2008
/ 14 Iyar 5768
No offense, sweetie!
By
Mitch Albom
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
So what can you call someone today? When Barack Obama used the word "sweetie" in addressing a Detroit TV reporter last week, it made national headlines. He was scolded by the media. Fingers wagged. Tongues clucked.
"Uh-uh-uh," the conscience-makers said, "you're stepping over the line."
And maybe he was.
But where is the line?
I've been thinking ever since this happened about the things we call each other when we call each other, and it seems they are all bad at one point or another.
For example, "honey." This is OK when it comes from your grandmother, your aunt or the chain-smoking, lipsticked, old blonde waitress in Las Vegas who says, "Honey, pass me that ketchup bottle, will ya?"
But from a politician, a business associate or a stranger on a bus, it's bad.
How about "babe" or "baby"? This seems OK when it comes from your grandmother, your aunt or the bad-haired record producer with sunglasses on the other side of the booth who says, "Great take, babe," or "Baby, you're a star!"
But from a politician, a business associate or a stranger on a bus, it's bad.
How about "sugar" or "gorgeous" or "cutie pie"? Again, these are OK from your grandmother, your aunt or the 80 year-old immigrant dressmaker who says, "OK, gorgeous, are you ready for your fitting?"
But from a politician, a business associate or a stranger on a bus, they're bad.
How about "kiddo"? This is also OK from your grandmother, aunt or the kindly old professor who puts his arm around you and says, "Listen, kiddo, the world is a tough place."
But from a politician, business associate or stranger on a bus, "kiddo" is demeaning, right?
And is the professor allowed to put his arm around you?
It seems pretty clear that only grandmothers and aunts can say anything they want to people especially women. But this issue is hardly gender-specific. Men are bothered by certain catchwords as well.
For example, "bro." If a white guy calls a black guy "bro," eyebrows will raise. If a young man calls an older man "bro" same thing. But if two young guys are talking sports at a bar, they can toss around "bro" like a football and no one will care.
What about "buddy"? If a homeless man asks, "Buddy, can you spare a dime?" they're liable to write a song about it. (I think they did.) But if the guy sitting next to you at the office says, "Hey, buddy, you mind not squeaking in your chair so much?" you want to slug him.
I read once that Babe Ruth used to call people "Jidge," which was actually what people called him, and thus he avoided having to remember anyone's name. It also had the benefit of not being insulting, because, hey, if it was good enough for the Babe, why not you?
Besides, titles can make you stumble. Dennis Archer and I met many years ago before he became mayor of Detroit in the bathroom at a charity event. We lined up next to each other at the, uh, facilities. I introduced myself as "Mitch," he did the same as "Dennis." We did not, given the circumstances, shake hands.
But ever since then, whenever I see him, I have never been able to call him "Mayor," even though decorum might suggest it. I keep remembering that bathroom. And, to me, he will always be "Dennis."
And let's be honest, some people don't want to be addressed in the "proper" manner. I know lots of women over 40 who, if you call them "ma'am," might tear your head off. They would rather hear "sweetie" than "ma'am." To them, "ma'am" means they're old, whereas "sweetie" just means you're a jerk.
So I guess it's like that old comic routine from the '70s. "You can call me Ray, or you can call me Jay, or you can call me Johnny ... but you doesn't have to call me Johnson."
I never knew what that meant.
And I don't know what to call anybody.
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