Jewish World Review May 25, 2007 / 8 Sivan, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Democratic candidate John Edwards said Wednesday there is no such thing as the Global War on Terror. He's outraged. If there's one thing a personal injury lawyer can't stand it's a trumped-up case with billions and billions of dollars riding on it.
Justice Department official Monica Goodling stonewalled Congress about the U.S. attorney firings Wednesday. All day she said she didn't know and she didn't recall. Don't confuse Monica Goodling with Monica Lewinsky, this one doesn't spit out anything.
Hillary Clinton went to the Sons of Italy dinner honoring Geraldine Ferraro on Thursday. She was Walter Mondale's vice presidential running mate. Hillary was only too glad to acknowledge that an Italian on the ticket can cost you forty-nine states.
Washington D.C. madam Debbie Palfrey announced Tuesday she endorses Hillary Clinton for president of the United States. The madam is a long time supporter. Back when Bill Clinton was president, Debbie Palfrey was Secretary of Health and Human Servicing.
Ron Paul and the CIA's former head of the Osama bin Laden unit addressed a public gathering Thursday. They tried to rationally explain that the 9-11 attack was Osama's reaction to U.S. troops stationed in Saudi Arabia, not because anybody hates our freedoms. They had to sing two choruses of G-d Bless America just to stop the fruit from flying.
Al Gore was interviewed by Diane Sawyer Monday to promote his new book, The Assault on Reason. He now seems humble and patient and full of self-deprecating humor. Al Gore knew global warming was a problem when he could feel himself starting to thaw.
Mayor Mike Bloomberg ordered all Manhattan taxi companies to use hybrid cars within six years. It will save more than money. The terrible acceleration and slow speed of these cars will give New York cab drivers something to complain about besides Zionism.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton