Jewish World Review May 22, 2007 / 5 Sivan, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Iraq's President Jalal Talabani flew to the United States to talk with doctors about losing weight. This country is the obesity capital of the world. Coming to America to lose weight makes as much sense as going to Iraq to establish democracy.
Tour de France champ Floyd Landis denied under oath Saturday that he ever took steroids. He's a Pennsylvania Amish and doesn't like outside interference. The U.S. government's mandate for mixing ethanol with hay has already killed three of his horses.
Mormon Bishop Anthony Owens was put in jail in Atlanta Friday after four women testified he proposed to them. He's already served two terms in prison for bigamy. Before they locked him up, he was five points ahead of Rudy Giuliani in New Hampshire.
Paul Wolfowitz resigned from the World Bank after giving his girlfriend a raise and a promotion. He had no trouble talking her into making the biggest mistake of her life. Remember, this was the same guy who convinced President Bush to invade Iraq.
Hillary Clinton gave the commencement speech at Dillard University in New Orleans on Saturday. Halfway through her speech she was overcome by a coughing fit. There she goes again doing regional accents in a part of the country where everybody smokes.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton