Jewish World Review May 17, 2007 / 29 Iyar, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The Sopranos fans expressed outrage Monday over Tony Soprano killing his nephew Christopher after a car wreck Sunday. The mob boss held his hand over his nephew's mouth until he suffocated. No one on HBO is able to breathe through their nose anymore.
George Lopez lashed out at ABC Monday for canceling the George Lopez Show. He is angry that a Hispanic sitcom was dropped for a new show starring cavemen. On the other hand, the Los Angeles Police Department hasn't had its own series since Dragnet was canceled.
Los Angeles officials refused an offer by Arizona sheriff Joe Arpaio Monday to house Paris Hilton in his tent city jail near Phoenix. No one would hear of it. You can ask O.J. Simpson, it takes a lot more than a DUI to lose your Los Angeles privileges.
Newt Gingrich said Monday he will probably run for president. He has a natural constituency. Three types of people want Newt Gingrich as president rich people who want tax cuts, hawks who want a strong defense, and stand-up comedians with mortgages.
Bill and Hillary Clinton bought beach property in the Dominican Republic near Oscar de a Renta's house Monday. There's nothing suspicious about it. They chose the Dominican Republic because Pretty Boy Floyd's hideout in Oklahoma is a museum now.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton