Jewish World Review May 9, 2007 / 21 Iyar, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Roger Clemens agreed to a contract with the New York Yankees Sunday which will pay him over a million dollars a week. The bonus clause could break the bank. It's believed to be the first sports contract ever pegged directly to the price of gasoline.
Revolution Square in Mexico City was the sight of a memorable crowd photograph Monday. Eighteen thousand Mexicans took off their clothes on cue and posed nude. People react so much better to Los Angeles directors than they do to Los Angeles police.
Washington D.C. madam Debbie Palfrey gave ABC News a secret list of all her call girl clients Friday. There's evidence that some of her clients were congressmen. Three of her girls have freeway interchanges named after them in their home districts.
GOP Congressman Ron Paul drew raves from Republicans following his performance in last week's presidential debate. The libertarian has one major advantage over the Democrats. As a practicing gynecologist, he can beat Bill Clinton at his own game.
French voters elected conservative Nicolas Sarkozy the new president of France Sunday. It caused confusion. When most Americans heard that Paris went conservative, they thought she might have gotten off with a warning if she'd worn something low-cut.
Paris Hilton was sentenced to jail for driving with a suspended license. She's fired her publicist for telling her she could drive to work if she felt like it. Under California law, if you don't have a publicist the court will provide one for you.
Bill Clinton spoke at the Kennedy School of Government at Harvard Friday where he warned about the obesity epidemic in America. It's alarming. Statistics reveal that one out of every four Americans weigh as much as the other three combined.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton