Jewish World Review May 3, 2007 / 15 Iyar, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Queen Elizabeth arrives in Virginia today on the four hundredth anniversary of the founding of Jamestown. It makes many people wistful. Most of the problems in the world today can be traced to an unenlightened immigration policy by American Indians.
Native American tribes began airing commercials in California seeking renewal of their state casino covenants. The ads were shot months ago. The Arapahos and the Navajos couldn't have picked a worse time to hire Don Imus to be their spokesman.
New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg proposed an eight-dollar fee Monday to drive into Manhattan. He's thought it out. It's the most practical way to recoup some of the medical expenses whenever New Jersey Governor Jon Corzine decides to drive into town.
Former Senator Carol Moseley Braun was mugged Friday as she walked back to her residence after attending a play in Chicago. It certainly put the war on terror in perspective. If the terrorists really do follow us home from Iraq, the muggers will be waiting for them.
Hillary Clinton's pollster Mark Penn told the Washington Post Tuesday Hillary can win the presidency because the support of women and Latinos will be enough to give her Ohio and Florida. The day before, she dropped Rodham from the middle of her name on her campaign website. She prefers to use her real maiden name, Rodriguez.
Cuban dictator Fidel Castro was a no-show Tuesday at the annual May Day parade on Revolution Avenue in Havana. His medical condition is a a state secret. It's more evidence that everything he knows about government he learned from Jack Kennedy.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton