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February 10, 2012
Lisa M. Krieger: Man with defibrillator demands access to his own heart's information
David G. Savage: Why activists may not be in a hurry to have High Court rule on alternative marriage
February 9, 2012
Laura McMullen: 10 Least Expensive Public Schools for Out-of-State Students
Kimberly Palmer: How to actually enjoy -- relaxing, financially -- your vacation
February 8, 2012
Warren Richey: Why momentous Prop. 8 ruling might not satisfy gay-rights groups
Menachem Wecker: Though Controversial, LL.M.'s Can Lead to Specialized Legal Jobs
The Kosher Gourmet byDana Velden: Going to the bother of making soup? You know it better be good. This CREAM OF TOMATO SOUP certainly is! And it's a cinch to make, too (Includes techinques and serving secrets)
February 7, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Caught off-guard? President's Super Bowl interview with Matt Lauer gives those who need a reason not to vote for him, a darn good one
Suzanne Bohan: Leaping lizards! Tiny reptiles advancing robot design
February 6, 2012
Jonathan Tobin: Iran Threatens Israel With Destruction, But the New York Times Doesn't Hear It
Jeffrey Fleishman: In newly democratic Egypt, tens of democracy activists jailed, to stand trial; their groups are 'threatening the stability of the homeland'
Julie Deardorff : Researchers say antioxidants may not be that effective and could do more harm than good
Mark Clayton: How did Anonymous hackers eavesdrop on FBI and Scotland Yard?
February 3, 2012
Edmund Sanders : Israeli official says Iran is creating missile that could reach East Coast of US
Victoria Kim: Immigrant-smuggling ring used black drivers to avoid racial profiling
February 2, 2012
Jim Carney: Wrong number call may have saved her life
Reza Kahlili : Ex-CIA spy in Iran's Revolutionary Guard: What Obama doesn't grasp about striking deals with Tehran
Tina Susman: For woodchuck rescuer, every day is Groundhog Day
February 1, 2012
Brian Bennett: US officials see increasing threat of domestic attack from Iran
Emily Brandon: How to Take Advantage of New 401(k) Fee Disclosures
January 31, 2012
January 30, 2012
Paul Richter and Ramin Mostaghim: Misreading Teheran's limits -- deadly and economically devastating as they may be -- is a risk administration, Europe seem willing to take
Suzanne Bohan: Warning: Nap-deprived tots missing more than sleep, study finds
Meg Handley: Banks Revamping Rewards Programs to Woo Customers
January 27, 2012
Caroline B. Glick: Obama: Of course I intend to prevent a nuclear holocaust . . . in a few months
Yochonon Donn: In liberal New York City, fervently-Orthodox Jews may soon be getting a district to call their own
Jeannine Stein: An inflated ego and thinking you're 'all that' doesn't just make others sick of you, it can make you ill
Katy Hopkins: New budget rules may affect how much money you get for college
January 26, 2012
Ed Koch: To the New York Times, calling for the murder of Jews by those capable of having their incitement taken seriously isn't news
Jeannine Stein: Mental illness struck one in five U.S. adults in 2010: Report
January 25, 2012
Richard Simon: House passes two bills endorsing the use of religious symbols at military memorials
Fred Weir: Putin: Multiethnic Russia cannot survive as a US-style 'melting pot'; must find its own way
Susan Johnston: 5 Sneaky Coupon Strategies Consumers Should Watch Out For
January 24, 2012
Carol Clark: The price of your soul: How your brain decides whether to 'sell out'
Caroline B. Glick: America lost most in 'Arab Spring'. Sadly, many voters still don't grasp the extent
Warren Richey: Drug criminal scores win in GPS ruling from conservative-leaning high court
Erika Bolstad: Black conservatives gather to talk about gaining strength
January 23, 2012
Melissa Dribben: Jewish voters to play a key role in Florida's Republican primary
Jordan Rau: In quest to grow, Catholic hospital system will announce this morning its break from church
Ali Safi: U.S. envoy gives Taliban terms for peace talks
January 19, 2012
January 18, 2012
January 17, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney Jr.: No-kidding red lines: U.S. response to an Iranian nuke may be bluster, but Israel's won't be
David G. Savage: They sued their principals after slandering them online --- now the cases are headed to the Supreme Court
David Francis: Where to Invest in 2012: With stocks expected to rebound, opportunity abounds for investors
January 13, 2012
Ben Lynfield: Israeli lawmakers move to annex Jewish Judea, one museum at a time
Alexia Elejalde-Ruiz: Thriving through touch: Gentle massage helps older people with low mobility improve in mind and body
January 12, 2012
Warren Richey: Landmark Supreme Court ruling a 'resounding win' for religious groups
Warren Richey: Supreme Court says no to new rule on eyewitness testimony
John Fauber : Statins found to raise diabetes risk in postmenopausal women
Katy Hopkins : Consider This Before You Pay for an Online Degree
The Kosher Gourmet by Joseph Erdos: This mushroom and barley soup has an intense -- almost nutty -- flavor that mixes robust with Middle East. It has creaminess without cream
January 11, 2012
Shari Roan: Millions of atrial fibrillation sufferers at risk for devastating, but preventable, stroke
Tom Hussain: Pakistan -- recipient of more than $21 billion in civilian and military aid -- speeds pursuit of Iranian pipeline, defying US
David G. Savage: High court signals it won't be loosening TV's 'indecency' rules
Stephen Ceasar: Oklahoma's Islamic law amendment can't go into effect, court rules
January 10, 2012
Reza Kahlili: From an ex-CIA spy: US must exploit new split in Iran's Revolutionary Guard
Karen Kaplan: Study: Nicotine replacement products ineffective when used in real-life situations
January 9, 2012
Michael Doyle: Put through legal hell over dream home, couple fought back hard --- all the way to Supreme Court
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Jewish World Review
May 8, 2007
/ 20 Iyar, 5767
That's disinter-tainment
By
Malcolm Fleschner
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
As a journalist, I'm frequently surprised at how misinformed most members of
the general public are about what it takes to be a media commentator. True,
a great deal of our work involves hard-nosed news-gathering, by which I mean
attending exclusive cocktail parties to discuss with other highly paid media
commentators how misinformed most members of the general public are.
But beyond this sort of journalistic legwork (so called because standing
around chatting for hours is brutal on the calves), success in the news
business today often depends on developing an eye for emerging trends. Not
to toot my own horn, but I did get in "on the ground floor" by purchasing
Google stock when it was trading at just $450 (I bought 1/8 of a share)
while I also recall watching Emmitt Smith during his record-setting football
days and thinking to myself, "Sure, but what people really want to see is
how he dances the Flamenco."
So you can probably imagine how my trend-attuned ears pricked up when I
heard about plans to exhume the corpse of legendary escape artist Harry
Houdini. If these plans go through, Houdini will join such other notables as
Jesse James, President Zachary Taylor and the Big Bopper in the ranks of
famous people whose bodies have been dug up in the past few years so that
forensic science can answer unfounded questions about their deaths that
almost no one was really asking.
This trend is driven mainly by the descendents of celebrities looking to
bask in what's left of a long-dead forebear's reflected glory. First they
find some oddball who's dreamed up a conspiracy theory about how their
famous ancestor was murdered, faked his own death, had a vestigial tail,
died while carrying Elvis' love child, etc. Next they send out a press
release and bam! the following morning Matt Lauer is at the
door with a camera crew and a set of shovels.
This was what happened to 1950s rocker The Big Bopper, who was dug up at his
son's request in January. The ostensible reason for the exhuming was to
settle rumors that the Bopper had suffered a gunshot wound aboard the plane
prior to the crash that famously also took the lives of fellow music stars
Buddy Holly and Ritchie Valens.
Predictably enough, the resulting autopsy revealed nothing unexpected except
that the Big Bopper was, in his son's words, "in remarkable shape" for a 48
year-old corpse (The article where I got this information didn't mention how
many other 48-year-old corpses the "Little Bopper" had dug up as a basis for
comparison).
But my question is, what if they had found a bullet hole in the Big Bopper?
Then what? Would they have dug up Buddy Holly to test his fingers for
gunshot residue? And then, of course, to determine exactly what happened on
the plane that fateful night, they'd have to unearth Ritchie Valens to see
whether the "La Bamba" singer had died with his hand outstretched and his
mouth shouting the word, "Nooooooo!"
So now, unless the old master can pull one last miraculous escape, Houdini
will be the latest famous corpse unearthed, this time to prove whether he
died, as long believed, of appendicitis, or was poisoned by his enemies in
the phony psychic community. And, just to avoid having to do it all over
again later, they also may be checking his tissue for signs of the newly
discovered "gay" gene.
Well, since there seems to be no stopping this trend, I figure I'll just try
to capitalize on it instead. That's why I'm reinvesting all my Google
profits in a startup company that publishes maps to celebrity graves. But
now they give you a free home DNA kit with every purchase!
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Malcolm Fleschner is a humor columnist for The DC Examiner. Let him know what you think by clicking here.
Previously:
05/02/07:You Are (not) Getting Sleepy...
04/18/07: No time like Father Time
03/15/07: Deface the Nation
03/08/07: More gifts? You shouldn't have
02/22/07: Relationships can be such a chore
12/05/06: Who's calling the shots?
11/09/06: I'm taking selling to a whole new level
10/27/06: Some skills are beyond repair
10/18/06: You can't tech it with you
10/04/06: Award to the wise
08/24/06: Phrased and Confused
08/09/06: We're Gonna Party Like it's $19.99
07/19/06: Just Singing in the Brain
05/24/06: Who says you can't go home again?
05/11/06: When nightly news stories go off script
04/26/06: Cents and sensibility: A thought for your pennies
03/16/06: The day the Muzak died
02/23/06: Checkbook diplomacy begins at home
02/15/06: Today's toys: Where learning means earning
© 2006, Malcolm Fleschner
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