In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review May 25, 2006 / 27 Iyar, 5766

WORKING WHILE UGLY: Career Advice for the Unattractive

By Marty Nemko

Printer Friendly Version
Email this article

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | It's well known that attractive people earn more, but what should you do if you're, well, homely?

It's tempting to gripe about society's shallowness and refuse to capitulate to style over substance. But, unfortunately, in most careers, that will cost you.

Here are some strategies which, while unlikely to land you on the cover of People, should make you more successful and confident.

Work hard to present a winning personality

Even if you don't feel friendly and upbeat, act that way-often, the feeling will follow.

Poke fun at yourself. For example, a bald person might joke, "I never have a bad hair day." Someone with a big nose might say, "I have a great face for radio." If you're in a wheelchair, quip, "Wanna race?" If you appear comfortable with yourself, others will be more comfortable with you.

Catherine Kaputa, author of U R a Brand (www.selfbrand.com) adds, "Executive comportment is the big thing now. For example, when you enter a room, pause, enter slowly, with good posture, then greet people. Introduce yourself, play the host."

Follow the above advice and even if you look like the Elephant Man and are just moderately competent, you'll likely succeed in the workplace. People may even like you better than your hottie coworkers — everyone will be impressed that, despite your looks, you're appealing.

Donate to JWR

It's especially important that unattractive people wear nicely cut, quality clothes — no shiny polyester! If you're on a budget, instead of shopping at bargain-basement department stores, try high-end thrift shops where you can often find top-quality clothes at 70 to 90 percent savings.

How formal should you dress? Dress for the job you'd like to be promoted to.

Consider having a signature color. For example, celebrity attorney Gloria Allred usually wears, you guessed it, red. Sandy Dumont, a Washington, D.C. and Brussels-based image consultant (www.imagearchitect.com ) says that navy blue and blue reds (as opposed to orange reds) look good on almost everyone. Kaputa adds, "You're generally safest with monochromatic outfits."

Kaputa recommends having a visual trademark. Madeline Albright is known for wearing beautiful pins, Larry King always wears suspenders, Bono is rarely seen without his wraparound glasses. Want to make something your trademark?

Don't dress suggestively at work. You instantly lose credibility.

The perfect outfit becomes a liability if wrinkled or stained. You'd think people who spend a lot of money on clothes would know better, yet there are people in every workplace wearing a designer suit that's wrinkled, a silk blouse with stains, or an expensive shirt that's unbuttoned at the bottom, revealing belly hair. Ewwww.

Choose your hairstyle carefully. Hillary Clinton is legendary for the number of hairstyles she's gone through to create the image she wants to present. Look how different they make her look.

Don't smoke. If avoiding cancer isn't a good enough reason, consider the impression in conveys: Smoking appears ugly to most people, and, of course it makes your teeth yellow and your breath stink.

You're overweight. Of course, it would be helpful if you lost weight, but that's often easier said than done. So for now, avoid tight clothing, and on the other extreme, the muumuu look. Busy patterns also make you look fatter. Instead, consider monochromatic outfits in dark colors.

You're balding. Here, I speak from personal experience. For a while, I tried combing my sparse hair forward or to the side. Forget it. Eventually, my friends told me that I wasn't fooling anyone. I then tried a hairpiece — for a few days. It looked good in the morning, but by day's end, unless I was willing to fuss with it every hour, its artifice started to show. Even one moment of detectability ruins months of perfect appearance. I rejected transplants because, except on a commercial, I've never seen one that looks good. I also rejected shaving my head — that is just another transparent attempt to hide thinning hair. Worse, it makes you look hard and unapproachable. Painful as it may be, it may be wisest to just wear your hair fairly short and comb it back.

You're getting (or feeling) old.

Get at least seven hours of sleep — fatigue adds years to your face.

Walk purposefully, even quickly — that conveys youth and energy.

Stand straight. Helen Gurley Brown said, only half joking, "After 40, it all comes down to posture."

Age shows most in our eyes and hair color. So wear flattering glasses and consider coloring your hair. Men, include your mustache or beard.

Your face is unattractive.

Draw attention elsewhere. A great hairstyle, or accessories such as jewelry, scarves, handbags, and shoes can refocus people's gaze.

Get a good makeup consultation. Forgo the teeny-bopper in the department store and spring for a few bucks for a pro. Get a recommendation from friends whose makeup looks good to you.

If you're considering cosmetic surgery, here's one way to find a good doc: Call a cosmetic surgeon's office, then ask the receptionist to recommend a few plastic surgeons other than her boss. The names that come up multiple times are good bets.

Consider working alone or with the same people each day.

If you've tried the above, you might be more successful in a job in where you work alone or with the same group of people each day. That provides time for your personality and competence to override the negative first impression.

It takes effort to convert yourself from creepy to captivating. To get motivated, think how you'd benefit from projecting a better image at work: You'll get more praise, enjoy better job security, maybe earn more money. It might be hard to stick with your plan, but it may yield bigger payoffs than being good at your job. Alas.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

400+ of Dr. Nemko's published writings are on www.martynemko.com. Comment by clicking here.


© 2006, Dr. Marty Nemko