Jewish World Review May 24, 2006 / 26 Iyar, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The Space Shuttle Discovery was rolled out onto the
launching pad Friday for its scheduled lift-off in July. Proper
training is critical. If the astronauts press the wrong button on
the control panel, the entire countdown changes to Spanish.
Bill Clinton urged seniors at the University of Texas on
Saturday to get off their backsides and combat global warming. He
said the Lone Star state is close to his heart. Whenever he's
feeling down he watches Debbie Does Dallas for inspiration.
The New York Times reported Tuesday that many Democrats are
concerned that the state of the Clinton marriage could hurt them
at the polls in 2008. They worry privately that voters think Bill
will misbehave in the White House. On top of that, there is the
expense of the little doggie door so he can come and go at night.
Democratic Congressman William Jefferson of New Orleans was
taped taking bribes from an undercover agent. He never had a
chance. When Hurricane Katrina blew all the roofs off in
Louisiana, the NSA satellites could see right into his bookkeeping.
Madeleine Albright said Sunday President Bush's religious
faith is scary. She herself was raised Catholic and converted to
Episcopalian then later found out she is Jewish. Much like Dick
Cheney, she has a shotgun approach that worries people.
The Federal Trade Commission released a report Monday clearing oil companies of price gouging during and after Hurricane Katrina. The FTC ruled that there's simply no evidence of any price gouging by the oil companies. Zacarias Moussaoui just announced that he is appealing his conviction to the Federal Trade Commission.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2006, Argus Hamilton