Jewish World Review May 23, 2006 / 25 Iyar, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Barry Bonds tied Babe Ruth's home run mark Saturday before a
packed house in Oakland. The crowd booed him when he came to the
plate, then gave him a standing ovation after the homer. His
lawyers are having a tough time reading the jury pool.
The Texas Department of Transportation said Tuesday it might
raise the speed limit to eighty miles an hour. Oil states have
become intolerably cocky. In Saudi Arabia they cut off your foot
for going less than seventy-five miles per hour.
The FBI dug up a horse barn in Michigan looking for Jimmy
Hoffa Saturday. He was a labor union giant whose pension fund
money financed the Las Vegas Strip. If Jimmy Hoffa was alive
today, that tiger in the Siegfried and Roy show would be a rug.
Paul McCartney denied a Hollywood plastic surgeon's claim
Sunday that he had work done. He had to deny it personally on his
own web site. Once you fire your publicist you're no longer under
the protection of California's Official Secrets Act.
John McCain apologized Sunday for backing the Confederate
flag six years ago in Dixie. It's an old issue with two sides. The
question now is, when the Mexican flag is coming up the street,
which side thinks the reinforcements have arrived?
Bill Clinton told the University of Texas graduates on
Sunday global warming is threatening to remove the pre-conditions
of civilized society. He's very sincere. Bill Clinton won't be
happy until we have colder winters and Hooter summers.
Fidel Castro was reported to be angry Thursday about Forbes magazine listing his worth at nine hundred million dollars. It's so sad. Twenty years ago Fidel Castro was a dedicated Marxist who had given his life to advancing the cause of world communism, and then the Colombians asked him to watch one shipment of cocaine.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2006, Argus Hamilton