Jewish World Review May 16, 2006 / 18 Iyar, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The World Cup ran television commercials Sunday promoting
the soccer matches which will be held in Berlin in two weeks.
Everyone's worried about violence. This is not the first time that
Germany's hosted a worldwide elimination tournament.
The San Francisco Giants drew six sell-out crowds hoping to
watch Barry Bonds tie Babe Ruth last week but he didn't deliver.
It's no surprise. They play at AT&T Park and no one wants to do
anything when they think the NSA is listening.
Miami Dolphin Ricky Williams agreed Friday to play for the
Toronto Argonauts in Canada this fall as he rides out his NFL drug
suspension. He told reporters he has lost forty pounds. With any
luck he will find it before the Coast Guard does.
Ted Kennedy's Cessna was struck by lightning on Saturday
while he was flying between commencement addresses. Everyone's
fine. Either it was a freak weather event or G-d doesn't want the
Kennedys telling young people how to live their lives.
The National Security Agency was reported Thursday to be
gathering telephone records of every American with the cooperation
of AT&T, Verizon and Bell South. People are outraged. How could
Bell South cooperate with the Yankee War Department?
Al Gore told a newspaper in Boulder Thursday he has no interest in running for president at this time because he's focused on saving the planet. Mr. Gore just made fifty million dollars on the stock of Google, which is a search engine for computers which run on electricity generated from fossil fuels. Nobody's perfect.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2006, Argus Hamilton