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February 13, 2012
Binyamin Rose: Back to the Bunker: How a life-risking act by a Christian family during the Holocaust saved a family and built a thriving community a world away
Menachem Wecker: Business Schools Teach Real Estate Despite Troubled Housing Market
February 10, 2012
Lisa M. Krieger: Man with defibrillator demands access to his own heart's information
David G. Savage: Why activists may not be in a hurry to have High Court rule on alternative marriage
February 9, 2012
Laura McMullen: 10 Least Expensive Public Schools for Out-of-State Students
Kimberly Palmer: How to actually enjoy -- relaxing, financially -- your vacation
February 8, 2012
Warren Richey: Why momentous Prop. 8 ruling might not satisfy gay-rights groups
Menachem Wecker: Though Controversial, LL.M.'s Can Lead to Specialized Legal Jobs
The Kosher Gourmet byDana Velden: Going to the bother of making soup? You know it better be good. This CREAM OF TOMATO SOUP certainly is! And it's a cinch to make, too (Includes techinques and serving secrets)
February 7, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Caught off-guard? President's Super Bowl interview with Matt Lauer gives those who need a reason not to vote for him, a darn good one
Suzanne Bohan: Leaping lizards! Tiny reptiles advancing robot design
February 6, 2012
Jonathan Tobin: Iran Threatens Israel With Destruction, But the New York Times Doesn't Hear It
Jeffrey Fleishman: In newly democratic Egypt, tens of democracy activists jailed, to stand trial; their groups are 'threatening the stability of the homeland'
Julie Deardorff : Researchers say antioxidants may not be that effective and could do more harm than good
Mark Clayton: How did Anonymous hackers eavesdrop on FBI and Scotland Yard?
February 3, 2012
Edmund Sanders : Israeli official says Iran is creating missile that could reach East Coast of US
Victoria Kim: Immigrant-smuggling ring used black drivers to avoid racial profiling
February 2, 2012
Jim Carney: Wrong number call may have saved her life
Reza Kahlili : Ex-CIA spy in Iran's Revolutionary Guard: What Obama doesn't grasp about striking deals with Tehran
Tina Susman: For woodchuck rescuer, every day is Groundhog Day
February 1, 2012
Brian Bennett: US officials see increasing threat of domestic attack from Iran
Emily Brandon: How to Take Advantage of New 401(k) Fee Disclosures
January 31, 2012
January 30, 2012
Paul Richter and Ramin Mostaghim: Misreading Teheran's limits -- deadly and economically devastating as they may be -- is a risk administration, Europe seem willing to take
Suzanne Bohan: Warning: Nap-deprived tots missing more than sleep, study finds
Meg Handley: Banks Revamping Rewards Programs to Woo Customers
January 27, 2012
Caroline B. Glick: Obama: Of course I intend to prevent a nuclear holocaust . . . in a few months
Yochonon Donn: In liberal New York City, fervently-Orthodox Jews may soon be getting a district to call their own
Jeannine Stein: An inflated ego and thinking you're 'all that' doesn't just make others sick of you, it can make you ill
Katy Hopkins: New budget rules may affect how much money you get for college
January 26, 2012
Ed Koch: To the New York Times, calling for the murder of Jews by those capable of having their incitement taken seriously isn't news
Jeannine Stein: Mental illness struck one in five U.S. adults in 2010: Report
January 25, 2012
Richard Simon: House passes two bills endorsing the use of religious symbols at military memorials
Fred Weir: Putin: Multiethnic Russia cannot survive as a US-style 'melting pot'; must find its own way
Susan Johnston: 5 Sneaky Coupon Strategies Consumers Should Watch Out For
January 24, 2012
Carol Clark: The price of your soul: How your brain decides whether to 'sell out'
Caroline B. Glick: America lost most in 'Arab Spring'. Sadly, many voters still don't grasp the extent
Warren Richey: Drug criminal scores win in GPS ruling from conservative-leaning high court
Erika Bolstad: Black conservatives gather to talk about gaining strength
January 23, 2012
Melissa Dribben: Jewish voters to play a key role in Florida's Republican primary
Jordan Rau: In quest to grow, Catholic hospital system will announce this morning its break from church
Ali Safi: U.S. envoy gives Taliban terms for peace talks
January 19, 2012
January 18, 2012
January 17, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney Jr.: No-kidding red lines: U.S. response to an Iranian nuke may be bluster, but Israel's won't be
David G. Savage: They sued their principals after slandering them online --- now the cases are headed to the Supreme Court
David Francis: Where to Invest in 2012: With stocks expected to rebound, opportunity abounds for investors
January 13, 2012
Ben Lynfield: Israeli lawmakers move to annex Jewish Judea, one museum at a time
Alexia Elejalde-Ruiz: Thriving through touch: Gentle massage helps older people with low mobility improve in mind and body
January 12, 2012
Warren Richey: Landmark Supreme Court ruling a 'resounding win' for religious groups
Warren Richey: Supreme Court says no to new rule on eyewitness testimony
John Fauber : Statins found to raise diabetes risk in postmenopausal women
Katy Hopkins : Consider This Before You Pay for an Online Degree
The Kosher Gourmet by Joseph Erdos: This mushroom and barley soup has an intense -- almost nutty -- flavor that mixes robust with Middle East. It has creaminess without cream
January 11, 2012
Shari Roan: Millions of atrial fibrillation sufferers at risk for devastating, but preventable, stroke
Tom Hussain: Pakistan -- recipient of more than $21 billion in civilian and military aid -- speeds pursuit of Iranian pipeline, defying US
David G. Savage: High court signals it won't be loosening TV's 'indecency' rules
Stephen Ceasar: Oklahoma's Islamic law amendment can't go into effect, court rules
January 10, 2012
Reza Kahlili: From an ex-CIA spy: US must exploit new split in Iran's Revolutionary Guard
Karen Kaplan: Study: Nicotine replacement products ineffective when used in real-life situations
January 9, 2012
Michael Doyle: Put through legal hell over dream home, couple fought back hard --- all the way to Supreme Court
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Jewish World Review
May 27, 2005
/ 18 Iyar, 5765
Weight, Weight, Don't Tell Me
By
Gene Weingarten
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
By and large, Americans buy, and are large. We consume too much and don't get enough exercise. Be honest, now, when was the last time you went outside for a nice, brisk morning waddle?
People in other countries are making fun of our girth even Germans, whose main diet staple is lard and who, in general, are built like farm machinery made of meat.
Fortunately, help is on the way. Wondrous new technologies are coming to our rescue. I recently had my body-fat percentage tested on a sophisticated apparatus that works as follows: You take your shoes and socks off and stand on a little scale, which shoots electrons up one leg into your pelvis, where they boing around in your but-, colliding with fat cells, muscle cells, reproductive organs, etc., and then rocket back down through your other leg and into the machine, which analyzes your fat content based on this unnerving reconnaissance. For some reason, this is considered waaay better than the old-fashioned system, which was to pinch some waist fat with medical calipers. (My guess is that medical calipers became useless in measuring Americans' fat folds, and fireplace tongs lack sufficient accuracy.) Anyway, my reading said I am too fat. I have two options to bring my percentage of body fat to within normal levels:
Option One: lose some weight through a sustained regimen of sensible eating and regular exercise; or, Option Two: have a sex-change operation.
Option Two would work because, to be considered healthy, women are permitted to have higher body fat than men. My body fat reading of 23 percent would have been normal for a woman of my age and height, whereas, for a man, it is an indication that he is basically a stick of oleomargarine with ears. In my opinion, this is part of a long-standing anti-male bias in the Weight Biz. In the mid-1990s the Medical Establishment released a new Optimal Weight chart that replaced the old, familiar system people my age grew up with. The old one took your height and weight and sex, and adjusted your optimal weight by whether you were "large-boned," "medium-boned," or "small-boned" (everyone, of course, declared himself/herself "large-boned"). The newer system was more complex, involving body mass, and it appeared to have been drawn up by ticked-off feminists. Under the new criteria, a perfectly normal, healthy man with a stocky build your typical major league catcher, for example was computed to be overweight. But short women got a break. Someone built like Madeleine Albright, for example, was not defined as fat even though she is built I mean no disrespect here like an igloo.
Apparently, the assault on men continues. I went for my body-fat measurement with my friend Pat, who is tiny. Pat is 5 feet 1 1/2 inches tall and weighs exactly 100 pounds.
No reasonable person could look at Pat and call her overweight; no reasonable person would call her underweight, either. Pat stepped on the machine, which declared that to bring her fat levels to normal range to become a perfectly healthy, normal American woman Pat would have to . . . gain 17 pounds. Pat laughed, said the results were obviously in error and completely meaningless. But she walked away with this big smile on her face, and spent the remainder of the day on an ice cream-and-brownie binge.
I was advised to lose five to 10 pounds or risk remaining somewhat overweight. This was sobering news. I was fully prepared to address the serious danger to my health when, the very next week, a new study came out, by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, saying that the best way to live a long life was to be . . . somewhat overweight!
At this vulnerable point, when I didn't quite know what to do and needed some lucid and un-ambiguous guidance, the USDA unveiled its new food pyramid. Have you seen this thing? It is clear that, left to their own devices, the nutrition-weenie designers of the new food pyramid would have instead created a food rhombus or a food hypercube or an inverted isosceles food dodecahedron, but were persuaded by USDA public relations people that the thing had to at least seem simple. So the food pyramid now is three-dimensional, with six partitions of different widths and colors. But it is very, very easy to use, according to the gigantic inter-active Web site you must consult to understand it.
Unfortunately, once you decipher it, the new food pyramid is pretty specific. Apparently, I need to eat a lot more broccoli.
So I'm weighing Option Two. I hear black pantyhose are very slimming.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
Gene Weingarten writes the Below the Beltway humor column for The Washington Post. To comment, please click here.
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