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February 10, 2012
Lisa M. Krieger: Man with defibrillator demands access to his own heart's information
David G. Savage: Why activists may not be in a hurry to have High Court rule on alternative marriage
February 9, 2012
Laura McMullen: 10 Least Expensive Public Schools for Out-of-State Students
Kimberly Palmer: How to actually enjoy -- relaxing, financially -- your vacation
February 8, 2012
Warren Richey: Why momentous Prop. 8 ruling might not satisfy gay-rights groups
Menachem Wecker: Though Controversial, LL.M.'s Can Lead to Specialized Legal Jobs
The Kosher Gourmet byDana Velden: Going to the bother of making soup? You know it better be good. This CREAM OF TOMATO SOUP certainly is! And it's a cinch to make, too (Includes techinques and serving secrets)
February 7, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Caught off-guard? President's Super Bowl interview with Matt Lauer gives those who need a reason not to vote for him, a darn good one
Suzanne Bohan: Leaping lizards! Tiny reptiles advancing robot design
February 6, 2012
Jonathan Tobin: Iran Threatens Israel With Destruction, But the New York Times Doesn't Hear It
Jeffrey Fleishman: In newly democratic Egypt, tens of democracy activists jailed, to stand trial; their groups are 'threatening the stability of the homeland'
Julie Deardorff : Researchers say antioxidants may not be that effective and could do more harm than good
Mark Clayton: How did Anonymous hackers eavesdrop on FBI and Scotland Yard?
February 3, 2012
Edmund Sanders : Israeli official says Iran is creating missile that could reach East Coast of US
Victoria Kim: Immigrant-smuggling ring used black drivers to avoid racial profiling
February 2, 2012
Jim Carney: Wrong number call may have saved her life
Reza Kahlili : Ex-CIA spy in Iran's Revolutionary Guard: What Obama doesn't grasp about striking deals with Tehran
Tina Susman: For woodchuck rescuer, every day is Groundhog Day
February 1, 2012
Brian Bennett: US officials see increasing threat of domestic attack from Iran
Emily Brandon: How to Take Advantage of New 401(k) Fee Disclosures
January 31, 2012
January 30, 2012
Paul Richter and Ramin Mostaghim: Misreading Teheran's limits -- deadly and economically devastating as they may be -- is a risk administration, Europe seem willing to take
Suzanne Bohan: Warning: Nap-deprived tots missing more than sleep, study finds
Meg Handley: Banks Revamping Rewards Programs to Woo Customers
January 27, 2012
Caroline B. Glick: Obama: Of course I intend to prevent a nuclear holocaust . . . in a few months
Yochonon Donn: In liberal New York City, fervently-Orthodox Jews may soon be getting a district to call their own
Jeannine Stein: An inflated ego and thinking you're 'all that' doesn't just make others sick of you, it can make you ill
Katy Hopkins: New budget rules may affect how much money you get for college
January 26, 2012
Ed Koch: To the New York Times, calling for the murder of Jews by those capable of having their incitement taken seriously isn't news
Jeannine Stein: Mental illness struck one in five U.S. adults in 2010: Report
January 25, 2012
Richard Simon: House passes two bills endorsing the use of religious symbols at military memorials
Fred Weir: Putin: Multiethnic Russia cannot survive as a US-style 'melting pot'; must find its own way
Susan Johnston: 5 Sneaky Coupon Strategies Consumers Should Watch Out For
January 24, 2012
Carol Clark: The price of your soul: How your brain decides whether to 'sell out'
Caroline B. Glick: America lost most in 'Arab Spring'. Sadly, many voters still don't grasp the extent
Warren Richey: Drug criminal scores win in GPS ruling from conservative-leaning high court
Erika Bolstad: Black conservatives gather to talk about gaining strength
January 23, 2012
Melissa Dribben: Jewish voters to play a key role in Florida's Republican primary
Jordan Rau: In quest to grow, Catholic hospital system will announce this morning its break from church
Ali Safi: U.S. envoy gives Taliban terms for peace talks
January 19, 2012
January 18, 2012
January 17, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney Jr.: No-kidding red lines: U.S. response to an Iranian nuke may be bluster, but Israel's won't be
David G. Savage: They sued their principals after slandering them online --- now the cases are headed to the Supreme Court
David Francis: Where to Invest in 2012: With stocks expected to rebound, opportunity abounds for investors
January 13, 2012
Ben Lynfield: Israeli lawmakers move to annex Jewish Judea, one museum at a time
Alexia Elejalde-Ruiz: Thriving through touch: Gentle massage helps older people with low mobility improve in mind and body
January 12, 2012
Warren Richey: Landmark Supreme Court ruling a 'resounding win' for religious groups
Warren Richey: Supreme Court says no to new rule on eyewitness testimony
John Fauber : Statins found to raise diabetes risk in postmenopausal women
Katy Hopkins : Consider This Before You Pay for an Online Degree
The Kosher Gourmet by Joseph Erdos: This mushroom and barley soup has an intense -- almost nutty -- flavor that mixes robust with Middle East. It has creaminess without cream
January 11, 2012
Shari Roan: Millions of atrial fibrillation sufferers at risk for devastating, but preventable, stroke
Tom Hussain: Pakistan -- recipient of more than $21 billion in civilian and military aid -- speeds pursuit of Iranian pipeline, defying US
David G. Savage: High court signals it won't be loosening TV's 'indecency' rules
Stephen Ceasar: Oklahoma's Islamic law amendment can't go into effect, court rules
January 10, 2012
Reza Kahlili: From an ex-CIA spy: US must exploit new split in Iran's Revolutionary Guard
Karen Kaplan: Study: Nicotine replacement products ineffective when used in real-life situations
January 9, 2012
Michael Doyle: Put through legal hell over dream home, couple fought back hard --- all the way to Supreme Court
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Jewish World Review
May 13, 2005
/ 4 Iyar, 5765
Playing Catch-Up
By
Gene Weingarten
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Most sexist stereotypes are false. Women are not worse drivers than men. Women can be just as decisive as men, just as competent, and, with proper inducement, they can even let rip a perfectly respectable belch. But I think we all know, in our hearts that at least one sexist stereotype is true. With notable exceptions, but by and large, in the aggregate, generally speaking, on the whole, in the main, qualifying this as much as possible to avoid disagreeable personal sanctions, women tend to Throw Like a Girl.
Because Washington now has its own pro team, the town is ababble in baseball. In offices all over the area, middle-aged men with the muscle tone of marshmallow Peeps have been loudly proclaiming about how they could have made the majors with just a little more practice. It was during one such conversation in my office that a female editor, just being sociable, said she'd always felt intimidated by baseball because she Throws Like a Girl.
Guys instantly snapped to attention. A baseball was produced, and, gamely, the editor her nickname is, I swear, "Spike" demonstrated her throw. Because Spike is a well-liked and well-respected member of our cubicle pod, no one laughed. But I will reveal here that she resembled an 18th-century Parisian fop with a perfumed hankie in his sleeve executing the arm motion accompanying the expression "Oh, pshaw."
Like any great architect of social change, I decided right then to seize the moment and right a grievous social wrong. For Mother's Day, I would present a foolproof method to cure America's women of Throwing Like a Girl.
As a student of Skinner, I knew that most behavior can be modified. And, as a student of Berra, I knew that 90 percent of baseball is half mental. All it would take is psychology.
Spike agreed to be Patient Zero. The next day we repaired to an abandoned part of The Washington Post building with all the necessary paraphernalia: two gloves, two Washington Nationals hats (one blue, one pink), a regulation baseball, a tape measure and some cooked pasta. In full "Oh, pshaw" mode, at top speed, Spike achieved a throw of 21 feet, roughly the distance from first base to, um, real close to first base. Then we stood face to face.
I told Spike that we were not going to be learning anything athletic, that we were simply going to be learning a new dance step. And that's what we did. Facing each other, holding hands, with my leading and her following perfectly, we rocked back, and then pitched with full leg drive and follow-through.
That was it. She had it. One shot. (I acknowledge that if a woman had tried to teach me this, as a dance move, in, say, 1987, I would still be trying to learn it.)
Next, with a strand of al dente spaghetti, I demonstrated the arm-whip actionthe last piece of the Throw Like a Boy puzzle. On Spike's fourth attempt with a baseball, she hit 40 feet. This was no sissy lob; there was an eight-foot ceiling. She was bringing it.
But there was still a problem. Spike's first attempt to catch the ball in a glove resembled an attempt by a very nervous and jumpy one-armed person to catch a thrashing fish with a spatula.
Me: What is your daughter's name, and how old is she?
Spike: Christine. Seven.
Me: Christine is in the window of a burning building. She is terrified. You yell up to her, "Don't worry, Baby, Mommy will catch you." Because you must transcend your fear, a preternatural calm takes over, the sort of calm that has allowed 100-pound women to lift two-ton vehicles off their pinned children. At this moment you are no longer a mommy. You are not even a woman. You are a gigantic lump of mashed potatoes. You cannot drop her. Christine will be safe, enveloped by the yielding warmth of mashed potatoes.
Spike: Um, okay . . .
Me: Now look at your glove. That is not a glove. It is a scoop of mashed potatoes. The ball will sink into it, thwunk.
I threw the ball. Thwunk.
She returned it like Clemens.
Again. Thwunk. Again. Thwunk. When I declared her cured 15 minutes after we beganSpike demanded to play some more. An hour later, I swear, she was Googling the price of baseball gloves.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
Gene Weingarten writes the Below the Beltway humor column for The Washington Post. To comment, please click here.
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