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March 19, 2010
Rabbi Berel Wein: The Divine is in the details
JWisdom.com Stewards of sacrifice with Rabbi Sroy Levitansky (5 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick: Why Obama is waging war on Israel
March 18, 2010
Cal Thomas: Israel's New Enemy: America?
JWisdom.com Love me not? with Rabbi David Aaron (5 minutes)
Jonathan Rosenblum: Washington Throws a Tantrum
March 17, 2010
Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Orwell, Santayana, and Me
Jonathan Tobin: How Many Lives Is Biden's Pride Worth?
March 16, 2010
Steven Emerson: Combating Lawfare
JWisdom.com How to perform a miracle with Rabbi Yaakov Asher Sinclair (4 minutes)
Anne Bayefsky: Behind Obama's Dangerous Overreaction on Israel
March 15, 2010
The Jewish Ethicist By Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Father's obligations toward minor children
JWisdom.com Moody, Grumpy, Irritable Children with Sarah Chana Radcliffe (5 minutes)
Judith Graham: Get the whole picture before a CT
March 12, 2010
Rabbi David Aaron: You CAN have Heaven on Earth
JWisdom.com Manufacturing mediums with Rabbi Sroy Levitansky (4 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick: The march of the Red-Green brigades
March 11, 2010
Glenn Garvin: Conspiracy theories, why people believe them and how they spread
JWisdom.com For Yourself, Not By Yourself with Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff (8 minutes)
The Kosher Gourmet by Linda Gassenheimer : Turn leftovers into tasty New England hash
Paul Richter: Biden promises 'viable Palestine' is in the offing
March 10, 2010
Paul Greenberg: Death Checks In
JWisdom.com How To Get A (Real) Life with Rabbi Warren Goldstein ( EXTENDED EPISODE)
Paul Richter: Israel exerts soverign right to its capital as Biden looks on astounded
Richard A. Serrano: 'Jihad Jane' indictment alleges threat from within U.S.
March 9, 2010
Wesley Pruden: Joe's Israeli adventure
JWisdom.com Free To Be (Responsibly) You and Me! with Rabbi Naftali Brawer ( 8 MINUTES)
David G. Savage: Supreme Court to rule on free speech in case of soldier's funeral
March 8, 2010
The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Make a fuss about those who cuss?
JWisdom.com Finding or Losing Yourself? Here's How! with Rabbi David Aaron ( 5 MINUTES)
Steven Emerson: America must learn from the UK about the future of Islamist subversion
March 5, 2010
Rabbi Berel Wein: Golden Calf still with us --- except it has multiplied
JWisdom.com The Limits of Eternity with Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 4 MINUTES)
Caroline B. Glick: Biden's lost cause
March 4, 2010
Alan M. Dershowitz: How About A Real Campaign Against Abuses?
JWisdom.com Using Things, Loving People with Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff ( 7 MINUTES)
Jordan "Gorf" Gorfinkel's Everything's Relative
March 3, 2010
JWisdom.com Grasping The Name of Your Life Game with Rabbi Warren Goldstein ( 8 MINUTES)
The Kosher Gourmet by Marialisa Calta : A cowboy's recipes for really good grub
March 2, 2010
Rabbi Avi Shafran: Someone's there
Diane Toroian Keaggy : Have we misunderstood Michelangelo?
March 1, 2010
JWisdom.com Whole in One with Rabbi David Aaron ( 5 MINUTES)
Michael Muskal: Hillary meets with Israeli official, discusses gefilte fish dispute
Feb. 26, 2010
Rabbi Francis Nataf: The Megilla of Spring
JWisdom.com A Biblical Secret for a More Powerful You with Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 5 MINUTES)
Caroline B. Glick: When rhetoric rules the roost
Feb. 25, 2010
The Jewish Ethicist By Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: When walking away from your mortgage is both economically sound and makes ethical sense
JWisdom.com The Second Most Important Question in Your Life with Rabbi Yehoshua Karsh ( 5 MINUTES)
Seema Mehta : U.S.-Israel relations raised in California's Senate race --- by conservatives
Feb. 24, 2010
Rabbi Avi Shafran: The gift of the ‘prayer bomber’
Steven Emerson: Why Religious Freedom Commission is under attack
Feb. 23, 2010
Dennis Prager: Government, Yes! The Divine and Parents, No!
JWisdom.com The Last Laugh of Enlightenment with Rabbi Yaakov Asher Sinclair ( 5 MINUTES)
Anne Applebaum: Prepare for war with Iran --- in case Israel strikes
Feb. 22, 2010
Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Is it not refreshing Tiger Woods' career has crashed and burned so dramatically?
JWisdom.com Esther and the third Truth with Rabbi David Aaron ( 9 MINUTES)
Kelly Brewington: Going smoke-free may raise diabetes risk
Feb. 19, 2010
Rabbi David Aaron: Is the Divine beyond us or within us?
JWisdom.com Olympic Faith with Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 5 MINUTES)
Caroline B. Glick: Israel and the West are perpetrators of a myth that endangers the Jewish State
Feb. 18, 2010
Cal Thomas: Who is Rashad Hussain?
JWisdom.com A Wedding Disaster to Remember with Rabbi Y.Y. Rubinstein ( 3 MINUTES)
Feb. 17, 2010
JWisdom.com Think your life is messed up? with Rabbi David Aaron ( 11 MINUTES)
Greg Logan: 'Greatest Jewish sporting event of all time since David versus Goliath' may be postponed because of bar mitzvah
Feb. 16, 2010
Anya Martin : Boy's 'cerebral palsy' fixed with diet
JWisdom.com Feet On The Street Spirituality with Gavriel Aryeh Sanders ( 8 MINUTES)
Marty Peretz: Let Europe Mind Its Own Business. It Brings Nothing To The Table Save For Mischief
Feb. 15, 2010
Herb Geduld: Lincoln and the Jews
JWisdom.com Are Our Children Really Ours? with Rabbi Mordechai Becher ( 5 MINUTES)
Susan King: 'Wolf Man' reflected writer's wartime Jewish experience

Jewish World Review May 13, 2005 / 4 Iyar, 5765

Playing Catch-Up

By Gene Weingarten


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Most sexist stereotypes are false. Women are not worse drivers than men. Women can be just as decisive as men, just as competent, and, with proper inducement, they can even let rip a perfectly respectable belch. But I think we all know, in our hearts that at least one sexist stereotype is true. With notable exceptions, but by and large, in the aggregate, generally speaking, on the whole, in the main, qualifying this as much as possible to avoid disagreeable personal sanctions, women tend to Throw Like a Girl.

Because Washington now has its own pro team, the town is ababble in baseball. In offices all over the area, middle-aged men with the muscle tone of marshmallow Peeps have been loudly proclaiming about how they could have made the majors with just a little more practice. It was during one such conversation in my office that a female editor, just being sociable, said she'd always felt intimidated by baseball because she Throws Like a Girl.

Guys instantly snapped to attention. A baseball was produced, and, gamely, the editor— her nickname is, I swear, "Spike"— demonstrated her throw. Because Spike is a well-liked and well-respected member of our cubicle pod, no one laughed. But I will reveal here that she resembled an 18th-century Parisian fop with a perfumed hankie in his sleeve executing the arm motion accompanying the expression "Oh, pshaw."

Like any great architect of social change, I decided right then to seize the moment and right a grievous social wrong. For Mother's Day, I would present a foolproof method to cure America's women of Throwing Like a Girl.

As a student of Skinner, I knew that most behavior can be modified. And, as a student of Berra, I knew that 90 percent of baseball is half mental. All it would take is psychology.

Spike agreed to be Patient Zero. The next day we repaired to an abandoned part of The Washington Post building with all the necessary paraphernalia: two gloves, two Washington Nationals hats (one blue, one pink), a regulation baseball, a tape measure and some cooked pasta. In full "Oh, pshaw" mode, at top speed, Spike achieved a throw of 21 feet, roughly the distance from first base to, um, real close to first base. Then we stood face to face.

I told Spike that we were not going to be learning anything athletic, that we were simply going to be learning a new dance step. And that's what we did. Facing each other, holding hands, with my leading and her following perfectly, we rocked back, and then pitched with full leg drive and follow-through.

That was it. She had it. One shot. (I acknowledge that if a woman had tried to teach me this, as a dance move, in, say, 1987, I would still be trying to learn it.)

Next, with a strand of al dente spaghetti, I demonstrated the arm-whip action—the last piece of the Throw Like a Boy puzzle. On Spike's fourth attempt with a baseball, she hit 40 feet. This was no sissy lob; there was an eight-foot ceiling. She was bringing it.

But there was still a problem. Spike's first attempt to catch the ball in a glove resembled an attempt by a very nervous and jumpy one-armed person to catch a thrashing fish with a spatula.

Me: What is your daughter's name, and how old is she?

Spike: Christine. Seven.

Me: Christine is in the window of a burning building. She is terrified. You yell up to her, "Don't worry, Baby, Mommy will catch you." Because you must transcend your fear, a preternatural calm takes over, the sort of calm that has allowed 100-pound women to lift two-ton vehicles off their pinned children. At this moment you are no longer a mommy. You are not even a woman. You are a gigantic lump of mashed potatoes. You cannot drop her. Christine will be safe, enveloped by the yielding warmth of mashed potatoes.

Spike: Um, okay . . .

Me: Now look at your glove. That is not a glove. It is a scoop of mashed potatoes. The ball will sink into it, thwunk.

I threw the ball. Thwunk.

She returned it like Clemens.

Again. Thwunk. Again. Thwunk. When I declared her cured— 15 minutes after we began—Spike demanded to play some more. An hour later, I swear, she was Googling the price of baseball gloves.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.


Gene Weingarten writes the Below the Beltway humor column for The Washington Post. To comment, please click here.


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