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February 10, 2012
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Warren Richey: Why momentous Prop. 8 ruling might not satisfy gay-rights groups
Menachem Wecker: Though Controversial, LL.M.'s Can Lead to Specialized Legal Jobs
The Kosher Gourmet byDana Velden: Going to the bother of making soup? You know it better be good. This CREAM OF TOMATO SOUP certainly is! And it's a cinch to make, too (Includes techinques and serving secrets)
February 7, 2012
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Jeffrey Fleishman: In newly democratic Egypt, tens of democracy activists jailed, to stand trial; their groups are 'threatening the stability of the homeland'
Julie Deardorff : Researchers say antioxidants may not be that effective and could do more harm than good
Mark Clayton: How did Anonymous hackers eavesdrop on FBI and Scotland Yard?
February 3, 2012
Edmund Sanders : Israeli official says Iran is creating missile that could reach East Coast of US
Victoria Kim: Immigrant-smuggling ring used black drivers to avoid racial profiling
February 2, 2012
Jim Carney: Wrong number call may have saved her life
Reza Kahlili : Ex-CIA spy in Iran's Revolutionary Guard: What Obama doesn't grasp about striking deals with Tehran
Tina Susman: For woodchuck rescuer, every day is Groundhog Day
February 1, 2012
Brian Bennett: US officials see increasing threat of domestic attack from Iran
Emily Brandon: How to Take Advantage of New 401(k) Fee Disclosures
January 31, 2012
January 30, 2012
Paul Richter and Ramin Mostaghim: Misreading Teheran's limits -- deadly and economically devastating as they may be -- is a risk administration, Europe seem willing to take
Suzanne Bohan: Warning: Nap-deprived tots missing more than sleep, study finds
Meg Handley: Banks Revamping Rewards Programs to Woo Customers
January 27, 2012
Caroline B. Glick: Obama: Of course I intend to prevent a nuclear holocaust . . . in a few months
Yochonon Donn: In liberal New York City, fervently-Orthodox Jews may soon be getting a district to call their own
Jeannine Stein: An inflated ego and thinking you're 'all that' doesn't just make others sick of you, it can make you ill
Katy Hopkins: New budget rules may affect how much money you get for college
January 26, 2012
Ed Koch: To the New York Times, calling for the murder of Jews by those capable of having their incitement taken seriously isn't news
Jeannine Stein: Mental illness struck one in five U.S. adults in 2010: Report
January 25, 2012
Richard Simon: House passes two bills endorsing the use of religious symbols at military memorials
Fred Weir: Putin: Multiethnic Russia cannot survive as a US-style 'melting pot'; must find its own way
Susan Johnston: 5 Sneaky Coupon Strategies Consumers Should Watch Out For
January 24, 2012
Carol Clark: The price of your soul: How your brain decides whether to 'sell out'
Caroline B. Glick: America lost most in 'Arab Spring'. Sadly, many voters still don't grasp the extent
Warren Richey: Drug criminal scores win in GPS ruling from conservative-leaning high court
Erika Bolstad: Black conservatives gather to talk about gaining strength
January 23, 2012
Melissa Dribben: Jewish voters to play a key role in Florida's Republican primary
Jordan Rau: In quest to grow, Catholic hospital system will announce this morning its break from church
Ali Safi: U.S. envoy gives Taliban terms for peace talks
January 19, 2012
January 18, 2012
January 17, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney Jr.: No-kidding red lines: U.S. response to an Iranian nuke may be bluster, but Israel's won't be
David G. Savage: They sued their principals after slandering them online --- now the cases are headed to the Supreme Court
David Francis: Where to Invest in 2012: With stocks expected to rebound, opportunity abounds for investors
January 13, 2012
Ben Lynfield: Israeli lawmakers move to annex Jewish Judea, one museum at a time
Alexia Elejalde-Ruiz: Thriving through touch: Gentle massage helps older people with low mobility improve in mind and body
January 12, 2012
Warren Richey: Landmark Supreme Court ruling a 'resounding win' for religious groups
Warren Richey: Supreme Court says no to new rule on eyewitness testimony
John Fauber : Statins found to raise diabetes risk in postmenopausal women
Katy Hopkins : Consider This Before You Pay for an Online Degree
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January 11, 2012
Shari Roan: Millions of atrial fibrillation sufferers at risk for devastating, but preventable, stroke
Tom Hussain: Pakistan -- recipient of more than $21 billion in civilian and military aid -- speeds pursuit of Iranian pipeline, defying US
David G. Savage: High court signals it won't be loosening TV's 'indecency' rules
Stephen Ceasar: Oklahoma's Islamic law amendment can't go into effect, court rules
January 10, 2012
Reza Kahlili: From an ex-CIA spy: US must exploit new split in Iran's Revolutionary Guard
Karen Kaplan: Study: Nicotine replacement products ineffective when used in real-life situations
January 9, 2012
Michael Doyle: Put through legal hell over dream home, couple fought back hard --- all the way to Supreme Court
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Jewish World Review
May 24, 2005
/ 15 Iyar, 5765
Beatification befits Saint Hillary
By
Jackie Mason & Raoul Felder
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Now that there is a new Pope, bringing with him the possibilities of naming new saints, there appears to be a movement of biblical proportions afoot for the beatification of Hillary Clinton. Gone are the memories of disappearing files, ducking Grand Juries, and just being beyond the reach of prosecutors. "They couldn't lay a finger on her" a phrase whose only province used to be in grade-B Warner Brothers gangster movies became her motto when she occupied the Clinton White House. Gone and forgotten is probably the only real miracle she performed, which was changing $1,000 into $100,000 in ten months ($6,300 of which was earned overnight). Even the Mafia could not get a better return on its money. However, in what must be one of the most interesting miracles since the fishes and loaves, she has transmuted herself into a figure of faith, principle, and piety. Like Saul on the road to Tarsus, who had seen the light of his Lord, she has transformed herself. Anna Quindlen, writing in Newsweek magazine, where her full page column occupies the prime-space last page of the magazine, pontificates:
...we [Hillary and she] talked about faith, about how both of us believed our religion had led us toward a heightened interest in various social-reform issues. That's the real Hillary Rodham Clinton. A lifelong Methodist...
If that was the real Hillary Clinton, then she did a pretty good job of hiding it the last ten years. Also, many Methodists will be surprised to learn that the practice of their faith is not incompatible with anti-Semitism. Remember Dick Morris revealing that when he was close to the Clintons and there was a disagreement concerning money owed him, Hillary, in anger, addressing his demand for payment, referred to him as "You people." In the revealing shorthand of an angry person, she was not exposing her inner thoughts and prejudices about Swiss bankers. Also, who can forget the wet one she planted on Mrs. Arafat who turned out to be so low that even the Palestinians wanted to get rid of her.
Ms. Quindlen goes on to write, "Her [Hillary's] concern that the culture is deadening our kids to sex..." Excuse us, but we thought that it was the Clintons who brought sex into our living rooms via television and made every kid who turned on the six o'clock news an expert in oral sex.
Ms. Quindlen also quoted a speech by the real Hillary Clinton where she spoke of a spiritual vacuum in the country. If they gave out Nobel Prizes for creation of spiritual vacuums in countries, the Clintons would surely be contenders.
Ms. Quindlen ends her article by noting and quoting Mrs. Clinton , "...she [Hillary Clinton] spoke of changing the national ethos to the golden rule, so Americans 'truly begin to...treat them [each other] as they wish to be seen.'" Actually the Golden Rule is to treat each other as you would want to be treated. Well, that the Clintons did in fact do particularly Mr. Clinton, and particularly if the other person was female. With his phone sex, he was able to actually treat himself as he would have others treat him.
Mrs. Clinton has made up with Newt Gingrich, her husband got himself a world trip with former President Bush on Air Force One, and she has now taken a pro-life position. But until she can do the water to wine trick, we will take a pass on seriously considering her and her baggage as Presidential material.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributors Jackie Mason and Raoul Felder need no introduction. Comment on this column by clicking here.
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