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Jewish World Review May 31, 2005 / 22 Iyar, 5765 Oprah's dog has issues By David Grimes
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Oprah Winfrey has asked one of America's top "dog shrinks" to help her black female cocker spaniel with some "issues."
Oprah called on Cesar Millan, known as "The Dog Whisperer," to help Sophie, whom Oprah refers to on her show as "my daughter."
"She (Sophie) has issues and I think it's my fault," Oprah told viewers.
While I am not a trained canine psychiatrist per se, it seems clear to me that some, if not all, of Sophie's issues stem from the fact that she has been led to believe, most likely from the time she was a puppy, that she is the offspring of a fabulously wealthy black woman who has trouble sticking to a diet.
One can imagine Sophie staring forlornly into a mirror and saying (or, more likely, barking) to herself: "Well, I am black, but other than that, I do not look anything like my mother. Furthermore, a size 14 dress would hang on me like a sack."
I would never be so presumptuous as to tell other people how to raise their "children," but I will say that my wife and I are scrupulously careful to avoid suggesting to our pug dogs, Satan I and Satan II, that they are related to us in any way.
This is not so much to protect their delicate psyches as it is to distance us as far as possible from creatures that communicate with one another by sniffing each other's but-s.
Sophie may also wonder if she's living up to Oprah's expectations. Oprah, of course, is a great advocate of reading and often has authors on her show to talk about their latest book. While Oprah is touting to millions the glories of Jonathan Franzen's "The Corrections," poor Sophie is in the kitchen, by herself, unsuccessfully trying to puzzle out the big letters on her can of Alpo.
As Winfrey's daughter, is Sophie being groomed, so to speak, to take over the TV show when Oprah decides to retire? If so, this could lead to a whole new set of anxieties. Where will they clip my microphone? What if I get nervous and have an accident? Should I include chew toys as part of my contract?
Oprah can hire a doggie psychiatrist to analyze Sophie's "issues" if she wants, but I'm betting she'd see equal if not better results simply by no longer referring to the dog as her daughter.
A dog's life is stressful enough without hauling around that kind of baggage.
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JWR contributor David Grimes is a columnist for The Sarasota Herald Tribune. Comment by clicking here. © 2005, Sarasota Herald Tribune |
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