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Jewish World Review
May 24, 2005
/ 15 Iyar, 5765
Giacomo enters rehab
Racing world bemoans Derby winner's downward spiral
After finishing a poor third in last weekend's Preakness race at Pimlico, Kentucky Derby winner Giacomo announced today that he was entering rehab and thanked his fans for their support and prayers.
The three-year-old's stunning announcement came in an open letter to fans published on his official web site, in which he acknowledged that his life had spiraled out of control since he shocked the world with his upset Derby win.
"After winning the Derby, suddenly everyone was my friend," Giacomo wrote. "What I didn't see at the time was that a lot of these so-called friends were really just looking at me as a meal ticket."
"I now know what my true priorities are, and right now my number one priority is getting well again," he added.
Across the racing world, insiders were saddened but not surprised by Giacomo's announcement, as rumors of the horse's erratic behavior had been rampant for weeks.
"I thought it was a bad sign when Giacomo didn't show up for a practice run at Pimlico," said racing insider Dobie Grossman. "He said that he was busy producing a hip-hop CD, but we'd all heard the rumors that he'd started smoking crack."
But any predictions that Giacomo's racing career is over may be premature, Mr. Grossman warned: "I believe that the public will give him a second chance, so long as he makes it through rehab and goes on Dr. Phil."
Elsewhere, Google announced that it was taking its search technology to a new level by introducing a new service that would enable users to find their car keys.
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JWR Contributor Andy Borowitz, the first-ever recipient of the National Press Club's Award for Humor, is a former president of the Harvard Lampoon,and a regular humor columnist for Newsweek.com, The New Yorker, The New York Times and TV Guide. Recognized by Esquire magazine as one of the most powerful producers in television, he was the creator and producer of the hit TV series The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and producer of the Oscar-nominated film Pleasantville.
© 2005, Andy Borowitz
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