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Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review April 12, 2016

The News in Zingers

By Argus Hamilton





http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Los Angeles Lakers fans say farewell to Kobe Bryant in his final home game Wednesday. Jack Nicholson, Charlie Sheen, and Paris Hilton will be there partying on the front row just like old times. The Staples Center is the world’s only basketball arena where the nosebleed seats are courtside.

Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton began attacking each other as unqualified Wednesday as Bernie kept winning primaries while Hillary kept adding to her delegate lead. Bernie Sanders has won eight of the last nine contests. If this keeps up, Hillary’s going to be president two months ago.

Melania Trump introduced Donald at his campaign rallies in New York this past weekend. It was a shrewd move. Baby Boomer men no longer care about world peace or the brotherhood of people, or the future of the U.S. economy, they just want to look at Trump’s wife for the next four years.

President Obama arrived in Los Angeles Friday where he spoke to two fundraisers in Bel Air and Brentwood. Obama led a twenty-vehicle caravan around town to assure Democratic donors about his efforts to halt global warming. It wasn’t as bad it looked, he was carpooling with his driver.

The Post Office announced Friday the price of a first class stamp will be reduced by two cents per stamp. They deserve to party. The Treasury Department just announced that the Postal Service lost three billion dollars last year, making it by far the most profitable branch of the U.S. government.

Apple said the sales of iPhones are way down due to all the publicity over the FBI’s attempts to unlock them in terror probes. That’s not why sales are down. The terrorists are all switching to the Samsung Galaxy because the new ones are waterproof and won’t go out during U.S. interrogation.

The European Union delayed a June members summit until after British voters decide if they want Great Britain to get out of the EU. Tensions are high. Many fear that if Great Britain votes to leave the European Union, secession fever may spread across the pond and Southern California will vote to leave Mexico.

Donald Trump ripped the GOP establishment Friday for plotting to steal the nomination from him at the Republican Party convention in Cleveland. They are trying everything. Last night, the ghost of Abraham Lincoln visited Donald Trump in a dream and urged him to relax and go see a play.

Bill Clinton ripped into Black Lives Matters hecklers in New York Friday. He told them they defend dealers who poison kids with crack who then murder other African-Americans. Republicans had to consult the Constitution to see if they can steal the nomination from Trump and give it to Bill Clinton.

Donald Trump spoke to a friendly cheering crowd in New York Thursday as the GOP primary arrived at the Empire State. The audience welcomed him as one of their own. Donald Trump is as much a symbol of New York City as the Statue of Liberty, the New York Yankees and public urination.

The L.A. Times sent a reporter to Donald Trump’s grandfather’s hometown in Germany to see how the locals felt about Trump’s presidential campaign. The Germans were quoted saying that Trump’s speeches were frightening, dictatorial and xenophobic. In other words, he had them at hello.

Donald Trump, Ted Cruz, John Kasich, Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders arrived in New York this week to campaign for next Tuesday’s primary. Many are dismayed that these five have emerged as the choices. Conspiracy theorists see it as a plot to make Obama appear more presidential.

President Obama is preparing to expand his presidential powers to give illegal immigrants the right to federal benefits extended to all workers in the U.S. The immigrants are patriotic and say they’re determined to remain in America and live free. Now all they have to do is qualify for disability.

President Obama spoke at the University of Chicago Law School on Thursday. He announced an executive order making illegal aliens under thirty eligible for federal benefits and exempt from getting deported. The University of Chicago is where Obama taught How to Avoid Constitutional Law.

Car and Driver magazine published a survey which found that motorists rank Prius drivers as the worst drivers in America. They’re just insufferable. Prius drivers in Los Angeles stare at their miles-per-gallon on the dashboards until their kids beg them to get more focused on the road and text.

Michael Jackson’s daughter Paris Jackson led TV cameras into a tattoo parlor in Los Angeles Wednesday where she had the image of her father’s face tattooed on her arm. It was a wonderful gesture. However she was warned that it may turn whiter as she gets older and the nose might fall off.

The London Mail reports that police in Germany are asking Germans not to wave at President Obama or his motorcade when he visits Berlin later this month. It’s obvious why. If the German people extend their right arms for everybody, it just cheapens it when they do it for President Trump.

Warner Bros. announced Monday the studio is making a cartoon movie starring the Mexican cartoon mouse Speedy Gonzalez. The political reaction was swift. Donald Trump complained that due to no border controls, Speedy Gonzalez was in Los Angeles taking jobs away from Mickey Mouse.

Donald Trump said he would force Mexico to pay for his border wall by levying the billions in wire-money transfers from the U.S. to Mexico. There’s really no middle ground in the cultures of the two countries. My New Year’s resolution was to learn Spanish, but that only lasted about dos weekos.

Donald Trump blamed his loss in Wisconsin Tuesday on media bias and double-dealing by the GOP. Nothing went right for him. The same day Donald Trump said America was no longer the world’s policeman a survey came out saying Americans eat more doughnuts than anyone in the world.

Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones said he doubts medical reports that link playing NFL football and brain injuries which eventually result in memory loss. Last weekend, O.J. Simpson was reported playing on the Aryan Nations prison softball team. Tell me this man doesn’t need immediate attention.

Iran’s Supreme Leader Ayatollah Khameni launched a fertility campaign which is designed to get Iran’s population doubled to one hundred fifty million people. He’s offering gold coins to couples who produce babies. If he really wanted to increase pregnancies, he should start by legalizing alcohol.

The Census Bureau said white people will be a minority in the U.S. by mid-century. The parties are planning ahead. The GOP has a sure-fire plan to turn the children of illegal immigrants into Republicans, but it will take First Tee a little time to wean them off kicking the golf ball into the cup.

Syrian peace talks adjourned in Geneva with a rebel plea to Putin to bring Bashar al Assad to a compromise position. Russian helicopters are attacking ISIS in Northern Syria while U.S. and British warplanes are attacking the south. Things are looking up in Syria, that is, if things want to live.

Indiana University dorms went on lockdown in Bloomington Tuesday when a Klansman was spotted walking across campus wearing a white robe with his hood down. Then they learned it was a Catholic priest in full liturgical regalia. That’s when the Baptist Student Union went on lockdown.


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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.


© 2011, Argus Hamilton

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