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December 2, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review April 29, 2013/ 19 Iyar, 5773

Family that stays together . . . is here

By Mitch Albom








http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | I recently visited my wife's family in Mexico.

"You'll stay with us," they said.

"Which of you?" I asked.

"All of us," they said.

At first, I thought this was a language barrier thing, the way these particular relatives say, "I love you too much" (translation: "so much"), or the way they pronounce "Meetch."

But as it turned out, when they said "all of us" they actually meant "all of us."

They live in the middle of Mexico City.

In a family compound.

I had never experienced this before. Four families. Four houses. Two attached on one side, two on the other, joined by walls and sharing a common inner courtyard with a lawn and tables and a swing set for the kids. Because you only can access this common area through the backs of the houses, there is no reason to lock the back doors.

So they are always open.

The result is amazing. Each family has its own unique living space, totally different décor, room sizes and layout, but you only have to walk 40 feet from the sister's place to the mother's place to the brother's place, etc.

It's an island of family. The movement between relatives is seamless. The aunt's kids are in the uncle's kitchen, the uncle's kids in the grandmother's living room, the grandmother is visiting her son-in-law, the sound of music and laughter mixing is in the middle.

It's such a loving, embracing environment, that inevitably, I wondered, "Why don't we live this way in the States?'"

And then I remembered.

We used to.

All in the family

My grandparents always spoke of sharing the same house with my aunts, uncles and cousins. Most immigrant families doubled and tripled up. When the 1930 census data became available several years ago, people were surprised to see how many of their older relatives actually were located at the same address.

Of course, this was largely economics. Not too many people back then could afford their own place. It was smarter to pool resources.

But not all of it was money. Some of it was simply a desire to be close to family. My parents spent the first six years of their marriage living with my grandmother and uncle. That's why it took them so long to have kids, they would joke.

But it was how things were done. And there is something to be said about multi-generational living. Maybe not when it comes to sharing a bathroom. But in a lot of other ways.

I watched my wife's Mexican cousins walking arm-in-arm in the courtyard, the aunts and uncles feeding the kids regardless of who belonged to whom. Someone always had a spread of food out. No one worried about making time for family - because there was always time.

As I age, that sentence seems precious.

More family ties

According to the 2010 census, 4.4% of American households are multi-generational. That's up from 3.7% 10 years earlier, or about 1 million households.

I'm guessing it is because of the economic downturn, foreclosures pushing families under one roof. But it'll be interesting to see once we get used to having grandmas and grandpas and cousins and in-laws around, how fast people will want to disengage.

To me, the Mexican model I witnessed was enviable. To have your family just across the way, but still be able to come home to your own place? To never have to hear that sentence, "Gee, I wish we could be there, but airfare is so expensive" or "We hate to leave, but if we don't go now, the traffic will be awful."

We've spent decades squeezing more and more in, while squeezing our family out. We want all our needs served in one hand - phone, read, watch TV, surf the web - yet we settle for family being all over the globe.

I remember my mother encouraging her children to travel, see the world, don't stay in our little town. But once we were older, living half a world away, she lamented, "I wish I hadn't been so smart. Then I would see you more often."

She would have loved the Mexican model. Keep your family close. Make an island out of them. "Stay with all of us."

What a concept, huh?


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