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Jewish World Review
April 5, 2012/ 13 Nissan, 5772
It was fine . . . until they called it 'pink slime'
By
Celia Rivenbark
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | (MCT)
Let's see. Gotta make my grocery list: bread, milk, apples, paper towels, pink slime, Chardonnay …What? Something wrong? You figured I was more of a red wine chick?
I know it's the pink slime that threw you. It threw me, too, when I read that the lean ground beef I've been buying at the grocery store or eating in America's better fast-food establishments for years contains ammonia-soaked de-fatted beef scraps.
Pink slime is a name perfect for producing paranoia, a real skin-crawler.
As I stood at the meat counter of my favorite supermarket last week, the woman beside me was holding a package of ground beef like it was a sack of dog poo. "Do you think this is pink slime?" she asked me.
I had no idea but I did point her to the organic beef in the next counter. It was seven bucks a pound, about twice as expensive. I think the organic beef business, which I picture being run by kinder, gentler cowboys who all dress like Temple Grandin, should make the most of this marketing opportunity and place big stickers on their beef saying stuff like "Pink Slime Free!" or "Don't Get Slimed!" or "Do You Really Want to Eat Something That Could Also Be Used to Clean Your Toilet?"
"I just want to make spaghetti," the woman told me, sadness heavy in her voice. "Do you think it's terrible to make it with pink slime?"
I could feel her anguish right along with mine. It was so much easier, and cheaper, when we thought it was "finely textured lean ground beef." Back then, my lasagna was "plausible deniability lasagna." Why did they have to TELL US?
We stood at the counter for another minute and then decided to buy our beef elsewhere. She was headed to a warehouse club. I was thinking McDonald's.
Yes, that McDonald's. The one that put me off chicken nuggets for life after seeing "Supersize Me." I guess it should tell you something if McDonald's is leading the charge against using pink slime.
There's a school of thought that there are worse things than ammonia that could be added to ground beef. After all, it's added to kill germs. Why is that such a bad thing? I like to take a fresh chicken and soak it in a bucket of Clorox right before I cook it, don't you?
The truth is that while we are collectively horrified by pink slime we don't get all worked up about the fact-checked truth that those pretty rich colors in our favorite juices are derived from dead bug skeletons. Blech.
We eat awful stuff all the time but, until now, we didn't give it creepy names and so it didn't seem quite as bad. Next time the food police want to finally wake us up, they should remember that phrases like "animal byproducts" are "OK", phrases like "ground esophagus and claws" not so much.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
Celia Rivenbark is an award-winning news reporter and freelance columnist for The Sun News in Myrtle Beach, S.C. Comment by clicking here.
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© 2007, The Sun News Distributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services
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