Jewish World Review April 23, 2012/ 1 Iyar, 5772
The News in Zingers
By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | The Secret Service dismissed three agents involved in the hotel party in Colombia on Thursday, however a supervisor was allowed to retire. That was decent. The supervisor was allowed to retire seeing how the government had already paid for a going-away party.
President Obama reacted angrily when asked about the Secret Service hotel scandal on Thursday. It presents him with a political problem. When his own bodyguards are refusing to pay their hookers how can he accuse the Republicans of waging war on women?
Secret Service agents said boozy and bawdy Wheels Up parties are a tradition in the agency. The party was broken up by Colombian police. It a sign of American greatness that our office parties exceed the rowdiness tolerance of the Cocaine Capital of the World.
Mitt Romney assigned his Massachusetts governor's aide to head up the search team for his vice presidential running mate for the fall campaign. She must come up with dozens and dozens of names. Mormon men are allowed to have up to three vice presidents.
The White House scolded Mitt Romney Tuesday for strapping his dog to his car roof on a long family vacation years ago. The GOP released an audiotape of Obama discussing how he ate dog as a boy. In Indonesia, Lassie is the highest rated show on the Food Channel.
The Marine Corps announced Thursday that combat infantry officers school will enroll women for the first time. The administration is giddy. It didn't take long for Democratic consultants to point out on CNN that Ann Romney never worked with a bayonet in her life.
BP and attorneys for Gulf residents reached an eight billion dollar settlement agreement Friday to settle all claims from the oil spill two years ago. No one will ever forget the debacle. By the time the clean-up ended, BP had put more birds in oil than Colonel Sanders.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton