Jewish World Review April 2, 2012/ 10 Nissan 5772
The News in Zingers
By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Frank McCourt agreed to sell the Los Angeles Dodgers to Magic Johnson's investment group for two billion dollars. He had to meet today's deadline to pay off his divorce settlement. It seems like in every divorce the husband winds up losing the baseball cards.
Germany's Supreme Court ruled it's legal for German police to racially profile people as suspects. We know where this ends. Jesse Jackson just issued a travel warning for Germany, Poland, the Czech Republic, France and, if nothing is done to stop it, England.
President Obama proposed tax hikes on oil companies Thursday and more spending on wind and solar energy. There's a partisan divide on energy. Republicans support oil and Democrats continue to believe that racial outrage is the most reliable source of energy.
Miami High School students walked out Wednesday to protest the racial profiling of young black men in hoodies as likely criminals. The students stormed a Walgreen's and looted the store. To stress their point, the looters wore windbreakers without hoods.
New York City hosted a huge parade Tuesday to celebrate Greek Independence Day, which is an annual ethnic celebration in Manhattan. This year was especially festive. America's cultural ties with Greece grow stronger with each trillion dollars of debt we add.
The Auto Club reported Thursday the national average for the price of a gallon of gas neared four dollars. It's the twentieth day in a row the price has risen. Gasoline price are so high in Los Angeles that drivers are shooting themselves instead of each other.
Jet Blue passengers subdued a pilot who had a breakdown in mid-air Tuesday. He ran down the aisle screaming about al-Qaeda and Jesus, and begging the passengers to pray for their very lives. He was wrestled to the ground and given a talk show on Fox News.
The Supreme Court ended three days of oral arguments on ObamaCare Wednesday without discussing the eligibility panels. They can ration the number of procedures. ObamaCare is like those hospital gowns that tie in the back, you just think you're covered.
Russia's Vladimir Putin scheduled a military parade in his own honor at his inauguration in May. As a Soviet spy he was awarded the Order of Lenin and many Red Army medals. It's believed he's had rubber facsimiles of his medals made so he can wear them in the tub.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton