Jewish World Review April 14, 2011 / 10 Nissan, 5771
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | The L.A. Public Library moved its computers across the room so people watching porn aren't visible to children at the checkout desk. City officials said people have a constitutional right to watch porn in a library. Roman Polanski is starting to think it's safe to come home.
The Treasury Department issued a list of suggestions to taxpayers Thursday to help get their refund checks back faster. It's so user-friendly. This year you can have your refund check sent to you by mail or have the check deposited directly into your gas station.
President Obama gave a speech at Ohio State listing his ideas to reduce the budget deficit. The solution is simple. Obama should charge a hundred dollars for autographed copies of his birth certificate and the Republicans will tax themselves to a balanced budget.
The Mitt Romney campaign rolled out its campaign logo Monday showing his name spelled out in the same red-white-and-blue creamy swirl used by Aqua Fresh toothpaste. What's the big deal? If the Republicans stand for anything it's white teeth and minty breath.
Hosni Mubarak had a heart attack Tuesday while he was being questioned by Egyptian prosecutors tracing his fortune. When they asked him what happened to all the revenue he clutched his chest and fainted. In Hollywood this is known as the Paramount Maneuver.
North Korea detained the third U.S. citizen caught hiking into North Korea from China last week. Iran also detained U.S. citizens hiking over their border. When you apply to join the CIA the first thing they ask you is whether you have ever experienced back trouble.
Pentagon officials announced Monday that the U.S. Army will begin deploying openly gay soldiers for active duty this summer. It's a civil rights victory. U.S. Army recruiters are already advertising on billboards that the tan you get in North Africa is second to none.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton