Jewish World Review April 8, 2010 / 23 Nissan 5770
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
President Obama gave an ecumenical Easter message on Sunday. He praised Hindus, Buddhists, Muslims and non-believers as the family of man. He was trying to show his tolerance for every religion except the one which builds apartments in East Jerusalem.
President Obama held the annual Easter Egg Roll Monday as hundreds of children rolled eggs with spoons on the South Lawn. Private school students were excluded and only public school students were invited. His own kids needed a fake ID to get in.
House Democrats got a cold reception when they went home for their Easter break after the health care vote. Some were booed, jeered and barraged with cursing. They hadn't heard language like that since Joe Biden called to wish them a happy birthday.
Hawaii lawmakers moved to make it a crime to ask to see President Obama's birth certificate. It's a source of tension in the White House. The difference between President Obama and Bo the Portuguese Water Dog is that at least Bo has papers.
Susan Boyle got her first royalty check after winning Britain's Got Talent. She showed the world that if you've got talent, decency and values, looks don't matter. Beverly Hills plastic surgeons have been offering talent, decency and values implants.
Saddam Hussein's loyalists in Tikrit announced plans to convert the dictator's palaces into tourist hotels. It's pure luxury. Each room contains a case of Johnnie Walker, a package of black hair dye and a cellphone that speed dials your CIA handler.
The Pentagon revealed plans to send NATO troops to capture the Taliban stronghold of Kandahar in Afghanistan. The country sits in a valley surrounded by mountains, allowing cannons to echo like the voice of God. It's what comedians call a great room.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton