Jewish World Review April 7, 2010 / 22 Nissan 5770
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The Adventures of Robin Hood is set for release this summer with Russell Crowe as the famed bandit. There's a lesson in this classic tale that resonates to this day. Robin Hood stole from the rich and gave to the poor, and he only served one term.
Mexico border towns in Baja California were rocked by a seven-point earthquake Sunday that shook up Calexico and Tijuana. The damage to the border economy is still being calculated. All the crack was reduced to powder and it may actually be worth more.
Geneva physicists ignited the Large Hadron proton collider that will replicate the Big Bang Monday. It's exciting, cutting-edge science. They want to learn how the universe came to be, and as soon as they find out they're going to drop it on Iran.
The TSA installed new body scanners in U.S. airports Monday. They use radio waves to show your naked body onscreen. You knew the day the Twin Towers were hit that no one would ever get on a plane again without being screened by the Howard Stern Show.
President Obama went to church on Easter Sunday at Allen Chapel AME Church in a dangerous neighborhood of Washington D.C. It's understandable. After a year of fighting the health care battle, he needs to hear bullets whizzing past his head to feel alive.
The U.S. Transportation Department fined Toyota sixteen million dollars for safety violations Monday. The government is enraged that people are still buying Toyotas despite congressional hearings, civil fines, recalls and lawsuits. This consumer boycott of U.S. government products is killing the post office and General Motors at the same time.
Afghanistan President Hamid Karzai threatened to join the Taliban on Monday if the U.S. government continues nagging him to reform. What a reckless statement. We don't have to tell the U.N. that he has weapons of mass destruction, we're already there.
French President Nicolas Sarkozy got a warm welcome in Washington and New York last week. Americans tend to be contemptuous of France. We cleaned up after France in Vietnam, Haiti, Lebanon and World War II, and nobody jokes about you like the maid.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton