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Jewish World Review
April 29, 2009
/ 5 Iyar 5769
Middle school is a whole new game and these players are vicious
By
Celia Rivenbark
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
If any of you parents of fifthgraders have been wondering if middle school is all that different from elementary school, let me just tell you how the Princess, now a little over halfway through her first year of middle school, described a recent playground altercation between two eighthgraders: "I don't know them personally, but I do know that one of the guys has a beard. And a son." Hard to believe that it wasn't all that long ago that the biggest worry was whether or not the eggs warming under the light bulb in the classroom incubator were going to hatch into fluffy yellow chicks before the kids left for spring break. A beard. And a son. This, on the heels of a conversation with a parent whose kid goes to a middle school across town. It seems that Dad was volunteering to help with bus duty when he gently asked a petite sixthgrade girl to wait for traffic to clear before she darted across the street to join her friends. "Shut up, @#$%'er," she said, staring him down. "You're not the boss of me." Whoa. You eat Happy Meals with that mouth? And then there was the seventhgrader I heard yelling into her cell after school: "If you can't pick me up, then stay your a home. Grandma." When a student shoved me aside to buy tickets at a ballgame, I started to demand an apology, but the Princess stopped me. "Don't mess with her! That's [name withheld on account of you'll see]," she said. "She once shot a man in Reno just to watch him die." "Uh, duh. That's a Johnny Cash song." "I know, but I had to put it in terms you would understand. She's been to juvie!" "So what?" I said. "I've watched every season of 'Oz.' She can't scare me. Watch and learn." OK, so the girl turned around about then. I looked up and up some more and dang near wet myself. One of the most important life lessons any parent can impart is the importance of choosing one's battles, as I explained later to a smug princess. Clearly, my shoulder had been in this girl's way. Bad shoulder! To be fair, there's a whole lot of good, heroic teachers, motivated kids and dedicated staff in middle school, but it can be a shock to the system when you, as one friend reported, start the day by seeing two pregnant students pulling each other's hair out in hunks during a catfight over a boy. I mean, the only pair of size 8 Marc Jacobs orange leather platform sandals at DSW, that's one thing, but a BOY? Puhleez. The world is so full of those. These days in middle school, the chicks are hatching too early.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
Celia Rivenbark is an award-winning news reporter and freelance columnist for The Sun News in Myrtle Beach, S.C. Comment by clicking here.
If the first lady can dig in the dirt, why can't I?
Somehow, we've all lost our internal censors
Not to rub it in, Barbie, but you're old
Some things you probably don't need to know about your friends
Big family, big ratings, big mess
Fred Mertz for vice president
Women and tools are like grease, water
Runners are a different breed of folk altogether
Don't get all bento out of shape
For you, Princess? I'll buy junk
Gwyneth P. needs big ol' reality check
Reality show amuses yet repels viewer
Spying on kid at summer camp awfully fulfilling
Stars? Great outdoors? I don't think so
Honesty in the name of fashion
Perfect attendance award is for little, viral losers
Trendy new ailment not for everybody
What is wrong with the women today who marry insanely rich and talented men and then think they still have to cook?
Shagadelic on the dance floor
Ex-boyfriends can have the worst timing
Little wonder many voters are confused
Sound bites not easy in Southern
I swear it's not my fault
Celebrity news gets weirder, trumps all else
Driver's license? Outta my way while I get `em
Like taking Miley Cyrus tickets from a baby
Driving under the influence of celebrity
Hugged your Webkinz today?
Hate mail spawned by humor columns
High School Musical rocks to the max!
Where did latest syndrome come from?
Tell the truth, folks, we all love Paris' trauma and drama
Tell the truth, folks, we all love Paris' trauma and drama
Office gossip is protected free speech
First-class corpse
Song lyrics have only gotten dumber
Talk to the clock because the ISP doesn't care
Being a happy human vessel has its limits
Who's not your daddy?
Phoning for dazzlers
Proper spelling begins at home
Sick of the waiting room
Road signs
Halt your motion toward the lotion
Sudoku's got my husband's number
One short stack of smarts, please
Spa me the kids
IRS wants us to like it so much that it smacks of desperation
Uniforms: Soul-sucking sameness
Girls' pajama parties a little different now
Welcome back for guilt-free manly man
A big boo-hoo for disgraced celebs
Girls' pajama parties a little different now
When Bubbas and hoes are extra welcome
Ageless icons can't escape their ages
Gifts to kids' teachers make competitive moms antsy
Kid bumper stickers sure not terrific
© 2007, The Sun News Distributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services
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