In this issue
April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review April 29, 2009 / 5 Iyar 5769

And now for the important news ....

By Argus Hamilton

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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | President Obama got ahead of his script at the National Academy of Sciences on Monday and ordered his Teleprompter to speed up. The Teleprompter did not speed up as commanded but the water parted in his glass. It's the first symptom of swine flu.

Mexico City's soccer stadium was empty by national order during Sunday's match due to swine flu. It's all the news. There were two thousand cases in Mexico and seventy cases in California, which means that the border fence is working pretty good.

President Obama met with an archaeologist in Mexico two weeks ago who's since died of swine flu. He was fully exposed. It allows us to hope that President Obama did not shake hands with Hugo Chavez in a gesture of solidarity, he was trying to kill him.

Mexico's swine flu epidemic resulted Monday in the entire country having to go to work wearing blue masks over their faces for protection. This is causing problems at the border. People are having to snort cocaine through their ears.

Congress returned to work Monday amid a national scare over swine flu. It took awhile to get everybody settled down. There was panic inside the Budget Committee until health officials explained to the lawmakers that they cannot catch it from pork.

The European Union reacted to the swine flu scare Monday by warning Europeans not to travel to the United States on vacation this year. That won't stop them all. A certain percentage of people will always want to be photographed naked at an airport.

Dr. Keiji Fukuda of the World Health Organization issued safety tips Tuesday listing several ways you can avoid catching swine flu. You can catch it on a bus or the train, but not in your own car. Californians deserve credit for being right all along.

President Obama went on the air Monday to calm any spreading panic about swine flu. The last outbreak of swine flu occurred back in the late Seventies. Forty million people received vaccination shots, the rest are still looking for a good vein.

Air Force One buzzed over lower Manhattan followed by F-16 fighter jets Monday for an unannounced photo shoot which terrified people on the streets. It looked like the president was attacking New York personally. According to security experts, the next logical step after seizing the banks is flying a plane into their headquarters.

Fox Network turned down President Obama's request for air time tonight for his White House press conference. Instead the network will air the drama, Lie to Me. Anybody who can tell the difference wins two free tickets to the American Idol finale.

Iowa's historic same-sex marriage law went into effect on Monday. No one should be surprised that Iowa has gay people. It was only a matter of time after the Music Man came to River City before choreography took its inevitable toll on the farm population.

The Taliban advanced in Pakistan Tuesday as the U.S. and Britain weighed military options. It's a zero-sum game. If we win, they'll have to let women commit adultery on television shows, and if they win, they'll only be allowed to commit it under blankets.

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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.

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