February 10, 2012 Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: The biblical case against small-mindedness involved diminishing His precious prophet Caroline B. Glick: The Peace Process is over. Finally Lisa M. Krieger: Man with defibrillator demands access to his own heart's information David G. Savage: Why activists may not be in a hurry to have High Court rule on alternative marriage Rachel Koning Beals: Gen X Women Continue to Shrink Gender Investing Gap The Kosher Gourmet by Faith Durand: Who Says You Can't Make Restaurant Favorites at Home?: MANGO AND STICKY RICE February 9, 2012 Jeff Strickler: An argument a day keeps the divorce away, they say Clifford D. May: CAIR's Crusade against The Third Jihad Melissa Healy: Study finds jolt to the brain boosts memory Laura McMullen: 10 Least Expensive Public Schools for Out-of-State Students Kimberly Palmer: How to actually enjoy -- relaxing, financially -- your vacation Emily Brandon: 10 Necessities for a Great Retirement Spot The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Winter Squash and Red Swiss Chard Risotto is Colorful Cozy Cold Weather Fare (includes detailed dos and don'ts) February 8, 2012 Rivy Poupko Kletenik: Tree hostility: The auspicious history of the evolution of Tu B'Shevat Steven Emerson: Planting Trees is Racist?! Warren Richey: Why momentous Prop. 8 ruling might not satisfy gay-rights groups Anne Applebaum: Russia's Potemkin democracy Menachem Wecker: Though Controversial, LL.M.'s Can Lead to Specialized Legal Jobs Emily Brandon: 10 Necessities for a Great Retirement Spot The Kosher Gourmet byDana Velden: Going to the bother of making soup? You know it better be good. This CREAM OF TOMATO SOUP certainly is! And it's a cinch to make, too (Includes techinques and serving secrets) February 7, 2012 Kathleen Hennessey and Christi Parsons: Obama not worried that birth-control move will hurt his re-election chances with Catholics, other faithful Caroline B. Glick: Obama's rhetorical storm Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Caught off-guard? President's Super Bowl interview with Matt Lauer gives those who need a reason not to vote for him, a darn good one Suzanne Bohan: Leaping lizards! Tiny reptiles advancing robot design David Francis: How to Avoid an IRS Audit The Kosher Gourmet by Emma Christensen: These homemade energy bars (3 recipes) are far better workout fuel than commercial ones, packing power and taste February 6, 2012 Scott Peterson: Iran's top ayatollah: We're trumping the West Jonathan Tobin: Iran Threatens Israel With Destruction, But the New York Times Doesn't Hear It Jeffrey Fleishman: In newly democratic Egypt, tens of democracy activists jailed, to stand trial; their groups are 'threatening the stability of the homeland' Julie Deardorff : Researchers say antioxidants may not be that effective and could do more harm than good Philip Moeller: Where Smart Investors Put Their Money Mark Clayton: How did Anonymous hackers eavesdrop on FBI and Scotland Yard? The Kosher Gourmet by Joseph Erdos: Vegetable Frittata --- leftovers never tasted so scrumptious February 3, 2012 Rabbi Dr. Warren Goldstein: Living with ideals --- in reality Caroline B. Glick: Fool me twice Jonathan Tobin : Adelsonphobia Strikes in Nevada Caucus Edmund Sanders : Israeli official says Iran is creating missile that could reach East Coast of US Kimberly Palmer : 8 Ways to Get Ready for Retirement Now Victoria Kim: Immigrant-smuggling ring used black drivers to avoid racial profiling The Kosher Gourmet by Faith Durand: A quick cookie recipe: Hazelnut and Olive Oil Shortbread: Sweet, Nutty, and Savory February 2, 2012 Rabbi Yaakov Rosenblatt : Welcome Home, Governor Perry Jim Carney: Wrong number call may have saved her life Reza Kahlili : Ex-CIA spy in Iran's Revolutionary Guard: What Obama doesn't grasp about striking deals with Tehran Kelsey Sheehy : 5 Tips for Choosing an M.B.A. Concentration Rachel Koning Beals : Investors Increasingly Tap Social Media for Stock Tips Tina Susman: For woodchuck rescuer, every day is Groundhog Day The Kosher Gourmet by Leela Cyd Ross : Savory vegetable pie is a taste of European bistro with minimal effort and maximal flavor February 1, 2012 Nara Schoenberg: What to do when you've been dissed Michelle Malkin: First, They Came for the Catholics Brian Bennett: US officials see increasing threat of domestic attack from Iran Lisa M. Krieger: Possible breakthrough in preventing Alzheimer's Emily Brandon: How to Take Advantage of New 401(k) Fee Disclosures Susan Johnston: 5 Apps for Organizing Your Expenses at Tax Time The Kosher Gourmet by Mario Batali: The famed chef's Broccoli and White Bean Soup can easily be a lunch in itself, or a nice antipasto --- and is hard to mess up January 31, 2012 Paul Greenberg: Separation of Church and State works two ways Caroline B. Glick: Hamas and the Washington establishment Frank J. Gaffney Jr.: Uncle Sam is joining in efforts to crack down on Islamists' critics Danielle Kurtzleben: The 10 Worst Cities for Finding a Job Laura McMullen: 3 Tips to Overcome a Bad Grade in College The Kosher Gourmet by Faith Durand: Orzo dish mixes plump, chewy grains with caramelized onions, garlic, mushrooms and sweet potato January 30, 2012 Rabbi Avi Shafran: Blind faith and physics Paul Richter and Ramin Mostaghim: Misreading Teheran's limits -- deadly and economically devastating as they may be -- is a risk administration, Europe seem willing to take Suzanne Bohan: Warning: Nap-deprived tots missing more than sleep, study finds Meg Handley: Banks Revamping Rewards Programs to Woo Customers Menachem Wecker: 3 Do's and Don'ts for Healthy Studying in College The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Butternut Squash Gratin with Tomato Fondue is a combination of the sweet and creamy January 27, 2012 Rabbi Berel Wein: What Pharaoh can teach us sophisticates about being stubborn Caroline B. Glick: Obama: Of course I intend to prevent a nuclear holocaust . . . in a few months Yochonon Donn: In liberal New York City, fervently-Orthodox Jews may soon be getting a district to call their own Jeannine Stein: An inflated ego and thinking you're 'all that' doesn't just make others sick of you, it can make you ill Katy Hopkins: New budget rules may affect how much money you get for college The Kosher Gourmet by Emma Christensen: Barigoule is a light and tangy dish of artichoke hearts stewed in white wine January 26, 2012 Jonathan Tobin: Newt the closet anti-Semite? Ed Koch: To the New York Times, calling for the murder of Jews by those capable of having their incitement taken seriously isn't news Martin Peretz: One Year Later: The Failure of the Arab Spring Rachel Koning Beals: Need to Know info before investing in Muni Bonds this year Jeannine Stein: Mental illness struck one in five U.S. adults in 2010: Report The Kosher Gourmet by Leela Cyd Ross: Curried Coconut Carrot Soup. Need we say more? January 25, 2012 Andrew Silow-Carroll: Speak politics the Jewish way! Richard Simon: House passes two bills endorsing the use of religious symbols at military memorials Fred Weir: Putin: Multiethnic Russia cannot survive as a US-style 'melting pot'; must find its own way Susan Johnston: 5 Sneaky Coupon Strategies Consumers Should Watch Out For Menachem Wecker: Adding an extra 'm' -- marriage -- to that M.B.A. Melissa Healy: Harnessing shrooms' magic The Kosher Gourmet by Hilary Meyer: 3 Secrets Leave All of the Comfort in this 'Comfort Food', but few of the Calories January 24, 2012 Carol Clark: The price of your soul: How your brain decides whether to 'sell out' Caroline B. Glick: America lost most in 'Arab Spring'. Sadly, many voters still don't grasp the extent Warren Richey: Drug criminal scores win in GPS ruling from conservative-leaning high court Jada A. Graves: 6 Careers to Watch in 2012 Jason Koebler: Who Should Have Access to Student Records? Erika Bolstad: Black conservatives gather to talk about gaining strength The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: This luscious fruit bread marries toasted pecans with juicy pears. Perfect with a pot of tea January 23, 2012 Melissa Dribben: Jewish voters to play a key role in Florida's Republican primary Stephanie Hanes: Toddlers to tweens: Relearning how to play Jack Kelly : Still ignoring history Rachel Koning Beals: Awkward Questions You Must Ask Your Financial Adviser Jordan Rau: In quest to grow, Catholic hospital system will announce this morning its break from church Ali Safi: U.S. envoy gives Taliban terms for peace talks The Kosher Gourmet by Emma Christensen: Spanakopita is a golden pie that manages to be healthy yet still taste indulgent January 19, 2012 Clifford D. May: How terrorists lose their stigma Suzanne Bohan: Vanquishing social anxieties without drugs Lisa Fernandez and Sean Webby: In alternative lifestyle, domestic violence means men as victims and women being abusers Danielle Kurtzleben: The 10 Best Cities for Finding a Job The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Three bean soup with gremolata January 18, 2012 Edward I. Koch: Why the Crocodile Tears, Hillary? David G. Savage: Supreme Court to Principals: You have been warned George Friedman of Stratfor: Iran, the U.S. and the Strait of Hormuz Crisis Jason Koebler: 'Holy Grail' of Flu Vaccines by Next Year Alex M. Parker: The Off-the-Radar Congressional Targets of 2012 The Kosher Gourmet by Susan Russo: Got soft apples? Make Apple-Maple Walnut Breakfast Quinoa January 17, 2012 Frank J. Gaffney Jr.: No-kidding red lines: U.S. response to an Iranian nuke may be bluster, but Israel's won't be David G. Savage: They sued their principals after slandering them online --- now the cases are headed to the Supreme Court Sharon Palmer, R.D.: Believe it or not, your cuppa joe offers potential health perks David Francis: Where to Invest in 2012: With stocks expected to rebound, opportunity abounds for investors Confronting the Car Nerds on their home turf --- the Detroit Auto Show (VIDEO; 3 minutes) The Kosher Gourmet by Emma Christensen: Eleventh-Hour Freezer Pasta, Made Interesting: Ravioli with romesco sauce; Tortellini salad with apples and walnuts January 13, 2012 Chief Rabbi Dr. Warren Goldstein: Expansion Of Spirit (PROFOUND yet UPLIFTING) Ben Lynfield: Israeli lawmakers move to annex Jewish Judea, one museum at a time Rachel Koning Beals:Top Complaints About Daily Deal Sites --- how to avoid missteps Alexia Elejalde-Ruiz: Thriving through touch: Gentle massage helps older people with low mobility improve in mind and body The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Braised Oxtail Stew with Olives January 12, 2012 Warren Richey: Landmark Supreme Court ruling a 'resounding win' for religious groups Warren Richey: Supreme Court says no to new rule on eyewitness testimony Ken Dilanian and David S. Cloud: In secret study, CIA and 15 other U.S. intelligence agencies warn Obama against leaving Afghanistan too soon John Fauber : Statins found to raise diabetes risk in postmenopausal women Katy Hopkins : Consider This Before You Pay for an Online Degree Menachem Wecker : 4 Technology Must Haves for Online Students The Kosher Gourmet by Joseph Erdos: This mushroom and barley soup has an intense -- almost nutty -- flavor that mixes robust with Middle East. It has creaminess without cream January 11, 2012 Shari Roan: Millions of atrial fibrillation sufferers at risk for devastating, but preventable, stroke Tom Hussain: Pakistan -- recipient of more than $21 billion in civilian and military aid -- speeds pursuit of Iranian pipeline, defying US David G. Savage: High court signals it won't be loosening TV's 'indecency' rules Stephen Ceasar: Oklahoma's Islamic law amendment can't go into effect, court rules Rachel Koning Beals: Should You Invest in Bond Funds or Individual Issues? The Kosher Gourmet by Faith Durand : Colorful Lentil Salad with Walnuts and Herbs January 10, 2012 Reza Kahlili: From an ex-CIA spy: US must exploit new split in Iran's Revolutionary Guard Karen Kaplan: Study: Nicotine replacement products ineffective when used in real-life situations Paul Bedard: Study: Is Fox Too Balanced? Rachel Koning Beals: Is it Time to Move into Homebuilder Stocks? The Kosher Gourmet by Carolyn Malcoun: Brothy Chinese Noodles Half the Sodium (and More Than Twice the Fiber!) January 9, 2012 Caroline B. Glick: The land-for-peace hoax (MUST-READ/FORWARD/SHARE) Michael Doyle: Put through legal hell over dream home, couple fought back hard --- all the way to Supreme Court Bonnie Miller Rubin: The new college-admission essay: Short and tweet(ish) Rachel Koning Beals: Why Mid-Caps Stand Out in This Slow-Growth Stretch The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Cumin seed roasted cauliflower with salted yogurt, mint and pomegranate seeds January 6, 2012 Jonathan Rosenblum: Greatness --- and those who sully it Clifford D. May: The Historian, the Diplomat, and the Spy Paul Bedard: Study: Obama Is Late Night's Biggest Joke Rachel Koning Beals: An Investing Guide to Closed-End Funds The Kosher Gourmet by Faith Durand: Slow Cooker Peppered Beef Shank in Red Wine

Jewish World Review April 30, 2009 / 6 Iyar Planning of the Apes By Malcolm Fleschner http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | If I had to summarize, in one sentence, the result of most scientists' studies of animal behavior, that sentence would be, "They're smarter than we give them credit for" (the animals, not the researchers). The problem, as I see it, is that for centuries people have just assumed that animals are pretty stupid, primarily because we've witnessed our own dogs and cats who, when not engaged in lengthy licking and scratching rituals, tend to fill their time with non-Einstein-esque behaviors like ferociously attacking invisible dust bunnies or gleefully rolling around in dead squirrel remains. And then it's right back to the licking and scratching. With such low expectations on animal intelligence, it's no wonder we're always reading about new government-funded studies excitedly reporting that, for example, goldfish can recognize themselves in a mirror, pigeons can identify more complex patterns than previously believed or that rats, when trained over a period of months, can be taught to fill out basic government research grant forms. "This has been a real time-saver for us, as you can probably imagine," the lead researcher on the project told reporters. "And to think some people don't see any practical application for scientific research!" The latest example of this "Animals: Not as dumb as we thought" strain of research comes from Sweden, where animal behaviorists have discovered a chimpanzee named Santino who exhibits what the scientists claim is "human-like planning behavior." As evidence, researchers report that Santino will regularly spend hours meticulously collecting stones and broken off bits of concrete which he then fashions into what the researchers describe as "a primitive sort of BlackBerry." Ha! Just kidding. He hoards the rocks to throw at people visiting the zoo. "Such planning implies advanced consciousness and cognition traditionally not associated with animals," says primate researcher Mathias Osvath. Or, for that matter, I might add, many of the people you see scrambling to get to the post office before midnight every year on April 15. And while we can all readily agree that stones are easily the second-worst thing that primates tend to throw at people, whether this kind of advance planning is so rare in the animal kingdom remains an open question. Why, in my household alone, I have witnessed any number of instances where my cat will sit by the door for hours until he's let in, at which point he promptly throws up on the carpet. That's not just planning, it's actual scheming. Besides, the recognition that primates are plotting against us should come as no surprise to anyone who's seen Planet of the Apes. In this chilling documentary about a post-apocalyptic world ruled by super-intelligent chimpanzees, humans are hunted and enslaved, and can't even be saved from their primate oppressors by a force as powerful as Charlton Heston's overacting. Clearly, Santino's rock-throwing is merely a small part of the primates' larger plan to make the Planet of the Apes scenario a reality. And frankly, can you blame them for turning against us? Any time we're not conducting experiments on them or locking them up to be gawked at in our zoos, we're dressing them in humiliating diaper and baby bonnet outfits or shooting hilarious YouTube videos of them riding on Segways (Seriously, if you haven't seen this, check it out - keyword search "chimpanzee segway." You won't regret it). In truth, Santino is probably just gathering all those rock piles to defend himself in case any Hollywood types show up looking to cast the lead role in Most Valuable Primate: Going Ape in Europe. Still, to be on the safe side, we humans have to assume that our simian cousins have us in their rock-throwing crosshairs, and we need to think about how we can discourage them from putting their dastardly plans for human subjugation into action. The first step should be to show them that we're not all sadistic animal experimenters or weird monkey diaper fetishists, and highlight all we've done to benefit primate species. For example, in the early days of the space program, NASA bestowed on monkeys the rare honor of experiencing the exhilaration of space travel — why, they even got to go into space before we sent any humans up. These early monkey-nauts could provide great testimonials to other primates about the privilege of helping to pioneer space travel. What a terrible shame that they were all either asphyxiated while in orbit or killed on impact after reentry. OK, so maybe that plan won't work. Instead, we'll have to find a way to distract the primates from their plans for world domination. And as we know, primates are social animals, so all we need is a way to trick them into expending all their energy on a completely useless, time-wasting activity. I think I may have the answer: www.monkeyfacebook.com. JWR contributor Malcolm Fleschner is a humor columnist for The DC Examiner. Let him know what you think by clicking here. Previously: 04/08/09: No more phoning it in 02/26/09: Tuning in to the English Channel 02/19/09: 25 AND COUNTING 02/13/09: A new life, dead ahead 01/29/09: NOW STARRING ... EVERYBODY! 01/15/09: You know the type 01/08/09: Just in time, here comes 2009 11/20/08: Hotels go for the green 11/06/08: Something does not compute 10/30/08: Early adopters tech their chances 10/21/08: Cyberspace invaders 10/21/08: Keeping up disappearances 09/17/08: Victims of math hysteria 08/07/08: My newfound sense of self (promotion) 06/24/08: Getting the brand back together 05/29/08: Phrased and confused 05/13/08: Take this job and love it 04/17/08: News you can (re)use 04/02/08: Commercial (over)load 02/20/08: An overdose of reality 02/14/08: A developing situation 01/30/08: I can tech it or leave it 01/02/08: Confessions of a coke addict 01/02/08: Our bills are due 12/13/07: Going (to lunch) once, going twice… 11/28/07: Out with the old 11/06/07: My latest pet project 11/06/07: Can't tune it out 10/23/07: Something special in the hair 09/12/07: Can I have your attention, please? 09/12/07: Houston, we have an image problem 08/21/07: In the heat of fashion 08/09/07: Let's get in the game 06/13/07: You gonna eat that? 05/08/07: That's disinter-tainment 05/02/07:You Are (not) Getting Sleepy... 04/18/07: No time like Father Time 03/15/07: Deface the Nation 03/08/07: More gifts? You shouldn't have 02/22/07: Relationships can be such a chore 12/05/06: Who's calling the shots? 11/09/06: I'm taking selling to a whole new level 10/27/06: Some skills are beyond repair 10/18/06: You can't tech it with you 10/04/06: Award to the wise 08/24/06: Phrased and Confused 08/09/06: We're Gonna Party Like it's $19.99 07/19/06: Just Singing in the Brain 05/24/06: Who says you can't go home again? 05/11/06: When nightly news stories go off script 04/26/06: Cents and sensibility: A thought for your pennies 03/16/06: The day the Muzak died 02/23/06: Checkbook diplomacy begins at home 02/15/06: Today's toys: Where learning means earning © 2006, Malcolm Fleschner

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