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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review April 3, 2008 / 27 Adar II 5768

What is wrong with the women today who marry insanely rich and talented men and then think they still have to cook?

By Celia Rivenbark

Celia Rivenbark
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Singer Billy Joel's wife was sitting on Oprah's couch the other day chatting about her happy life and I just wanted to smack her with my spatula. She's perky and gorgeous and young enough to still have her wisdom teeth from the looks of it.


But that's not why I wanted to stick her head in the oven. It's because, get this, she's written a cookbook. This on the heels of the other Wealthiest Man Alive Jerry Seinfeld's younger, hottie wife writing one, too, and hawking it on "Oprah."


So here's my question: What is wrong with the women today who marry insanely rich and talented men and then think they still have to cook?


Doesn't anyone know how to be rich any more? I mean anyone besides Heather Mills McCartney whom, I'm sure, doesn't cook, unless it's to lightly braise the still-beating heart of a freshly slaughtered baby lamb.


Say what you will, but Heather, who Paul's kinfolk once memorably termed "an opportunistic cow," earned her money the old-fashioned way: Marry a billionaire and then make sure his life is so miserable that he'll pay you $43 million just to say buh-bye.


Write a cookbook? Not bloody likely.


Yes, now, I can hear you all whining about how women deserve to be recognized for their own skills and talents. Right. So the tiny, itsy wittle Ms. Joel demonstrated her cookbook-writing talents by making meatloaf for Oprah.


Yes, meatloaf.


At the mention of meatloaf, the audience squealed like she'd said, "Pheasant de Foi Gras Snootypants." Oprah said, "She's making meatloaf!" and said it three times like she always says when she's excited about something. And I'm thinking: "Dude. You married Billy Joel. Fry the guy a steak at least. Or make what I'd make if I was married to Billy Joel. That's right; reservations.


From all appearances, Mrs. Billy Joel is utterly charming. Ditto Mrs. Seinfeld. But I'd like them a lot better if they just sat up there on Oprah's couch and said, "You know what? My husband's worth $800 million. I have no flippin' idea where the stove is. Ewww. This sofa's kinda scratchy, O."


Celebrity isn't what it used to be. New moms Jennifer Lopez and Nicole Richie, in separate "People" magazine cover stories, recounted tales of sleepless nights and numerous diaper changes.


Oh big deal. Celebrities can do poo just like some Appalachian Juno. As if. My guess is Carmelita is the only one changing nappies in those mansions. What next? Yard-saling with Eva Longoria Parker?


Gawd, acting poor is so 1995, y'all. Just enjoy your wealth and give us something to aspire to. Other than meatloaf.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Celia Rivenbark is an award-winning news reporter and freelance columnist for The Sun News in Myrtle Beach, S.C. Comment by clicking here.


Shagadelic on the dance floor
Ex-boyfriends can have the worst timing
Little wonder many voters are confused
Sound bites not easy in Southern
I swear it's not my fault
Celebrity news gets weirder, trumps all else
Driver's license? Outta my way while I get `em
Like taking Miley Cyrus tickets from a baby
Driving under the influence of celebrity
Hugged your Webkinz today?
Hate mail spawned by humor columns
‘High School Musical’ rocks to the max!
Where did latest ‘syndrome’ come from?
Tell the truth, folks, we all love Paris' trauma and drama
Tell the truth, folks, we all love Paris' trauma and drama
Office gossip is protected free speech
First-class corpse
Song lyrics have only gotten dumber
Talk to the clock because the ISP doesn't care
Being a happy human vessel has its limits
Who's not your daddy?
Phoning for dazzlers
Proper spelling begins at home
Sick of the waiting room
Road signs
Halt your motion toward the lotion
Sudoku's got my husband's number
One short stack of smarts, please
Spa me the kids
IRS wants us to like it so much that it smacks of desperation
Uniforms: Soul-sucking sameness
Girls' pajama parties a little different now
Welcome back for guilt-free manly man
A big boo-hoo for disgraced celebs
Girls' pajama parties a little different now
When Bubbas and hoes are extra welcome
Ageless icons can't escape their ages
Gifts to kids' teachers make competitive moms antsy

Kid bumper stickers sure not ‘terrific’

© 2007, The Sun News Distributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services

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