Jewish World Review April 15, 2008 / 10 Nissan 5768
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Eminem was asked to sing at a concert in Nelson Mandela's honor when he comes to Washington D.C. this summer. Both men will go down in history. Nelson Mandela ended racial apartheid in South Africa and Eminem broke the color barrier in rap music.
Chinese citizens were infuriated when Paris protesters mauled a Chinese girl in a wheelchair who was carrying the Olympic torch. They want to boycott all things French. Until things cool off, the McDonald's in Beijing will be required to sell Prison Fries.
World War Two pilots held a reunion in Washington D.C. Saturday and were honored for bombing Nazi Germany. It's a small world. Pope Benedict was an anti-aircraft gunner in Germany so there's a chance they could bump into each other again this week.
Massachusetts legislators considered a dollar per pack tax increase on cigarettes on Friday to pay for the universal health care program. It's brutal. If they penalize smokers any more, tobacco is going to have a sentencing disparity with powdered cocaine.
Hillary Clinton clamped down on Bill Clinton's behavior Friday and ordered him to tone down his campaign rhetoric onstage. It was historic. She publicly told her husband to keep it zipped, and for the first time in thirty years she meant his mouth.
Barack Obama caused a firestorm by saying people in America instinctively turn to guns and religion whenever they are bitter. Who briefed this guy? Americans turn to guns and religion whenever they want to found the United States or defend it.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton