Jewish World Review April 10, 2008 / 5 Nissan 5768
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The Weather Channel aired spectacular video of spring hailstorms and lightning strikes in the Southwest on Tuesday. They reported that Tulsa had ten thousand strikes in just one hour. It reminded Barack Obama never to try to bowl against Tulsa.
Hillary Clinton hit one bowling pin on the Ellen DeGeneres show Tuesday to prove she can bowl better than Barack, after he'd bowled a gutter ball. Pennsylvania Democrats aren't amused. To the working class, being a terrible bowler is the first sign of a monarchist.
Bill Clinton released all his post-presidential tax returns last Friday. They show he made a hundred and ten million in the last seven years. Now every time he complains about President Bush's failed economic policies, it sounds greedy beyond comprehension.
Alan Greenspan told CNBC reporters Tuesday the U.S. economy is in recession. Yet he's doing quite well himself. Alan Greenspan retired last year as the Chairman of the Federal Reserve, and with that generally comes a lucrative modeling career.
Congress learned Tuesday that government workers charged tailor-made suits, Internet dating, lingerie and dinners to their government credit cards. The timing is no accident. It's a clever ploy to take everyone's mind off the money we're wasting in Iraq.
Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said Tuesday his nation is making great progress on its nuclear program. He said scientists are installing thousands of new centrifuges to enrich uranium. In Los Angeles, this is known as suicide by cop.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton