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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review April 8, 2008 / 3 Nissan 5768

And now for the important news ....

By Argus Hamilton


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | . The San Francisco Giants removed every image of Barry Bonds from their stadium before this week's home opener. No team has signed him yet. Barry Bonds says he's in shape and he wants to play, but so far his only offer is from Senator Larry Craig.


Supermodel Naomi Campbell was taken off a British Airways flight for attacking a cop on a plane Thursday. She's twice been charged with assaulting her maids. Two-thirds of the reports of cell phone-related brain damage were caused by her fastball.


Bill Clinton released his tax returns Friday, showing he's made a fortune since he left office. His generosity is legendary. When he was president he used to go to Yellowstone and pose next to Old Faithful just to help out the beginning comedians.


Hillary Clinton was quoted Thursday saying Barack Obama cannot win in November, implying that race would be the determining issue. It's possibly true. After eight years of President Bush, voters aren't sure they can take a chance on another white guy.


Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke defended bailing out Wall Street bankers in last month's credit crisis. It's a once in a lifetime situation. While a bank's stock might crash just once, the homeowner will crash forever in his parents' basement.


John McCain stood on the balcony where Martin Luther King was shot Thursday and apologized for not voting to make his birthday a holiday. Barack apologized for referring to his grandma as a typical white woman and Hillary apologized for telling tall tales from the Balkans. It's the sorriest presidential campaign anyone can remember.


Washington's Mayflower Hotel said Thursday its gift shop has sold out of hotel souvenirs since Eliot Spitzer met a hooker there. You know what this means. If Bill Clinton really wants to help Hillary he should shut up and have another sex scandal.


Jerry Seinfeld rolled his Fiat when his brakes failed on a highway Friday. He jerked the emergency break, spun his steering wheel, rolled over twice and walked away unharmed. Nothing annoys the Highway Patrol like the annual James Bond auditions.


Arizona Cardinals quarterback Matt Leinart apologized Thursday after photos of him surfaced on the Internet. They show him in his hot tub with four girls, drinking from a beer bong. Everyone's disappointed. At the scouting combine he did six girls and two bongs.


Barack Obama's Chicago church held a protest against all the media coverage of Rev. Jeremiah Wright. It's why Chicago will always be the Second City. Churches in New York and L.A. are hiring Jeremiah Wright impersonators just for the free media coverage.


Hillary Clinton flew to Los Angeles for a fundraiser Thursday and then appeared on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno in Burbank. It had to be a stressful trip. All the adoring cable news stories about Barack Obama begin three hours earlier out here.


Hillary Clinton arrived at Burbank Airport Thursday for one day of campaigning in Los Angeles. She ordered her driver to take as many freeways as possible and to switch lanes without signaling. Hillary thinks the only way to win back the black vote is to get shot on the anniversary of Martin Luther King's assassination.


London Mayor Ken Livingstone said Thursday the city will begin charging gas-guzzling vehicles a fifty-dollar-a-day entrance fee in October. People are balking. For a cover charge like that, they'd better have the Beatles playing at the Cavern Club.


Ted Turner told PBS Friday that in forty years, global warming will destroy all crops and man will be reduced to cannibalism. Then he called the insurgents in Iraq patriots. One day Ted Turner's bones will be on display at the Dinosaur Park in Utah, representing the age when television networks were not owned by the defense industry.

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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.

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