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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review April 25, 2007 / 7 Iyar, 5767

First-class corpse

By Celia Rivenbark

Celia Rivenbark
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | A first-class passenger who was taking a nap on a recent British Airways flight from New Delhi to London awoke to find the body of an elderly woman, who had died on the flight while in economy class, strapped into the seat next to him.


Which just goes to show that apparently some people will do anything for an upgrade.


As flight attendants wedged the body into the seat with pillows because of turbulence, the horrified passenger complained about having to complete the nine-hour flight with a corpse beside him. To which the flight attendants responded, "Get over it."


Oh? How exactly?


While many people have said the passenger was insensitive and shallow to complain, you must remember that this was a very long flight. No amount of hot towels, eye shades, courtesy pajamas and real china and crystal could make up for the fact that there was a body rapidly decomposing in stuffy, recirculated airplane air beside this man. Talk about ruining your foie gras. Sitting beside the recently dead can't be soothed by a choice of herbal teas and a nice hot breakfast whilst watching "Big Momma's House III" in slipperettes.


I don't think the airline handled this very well because they didn't even offer the guy a free ticket. Heck, I got one of those just for agreeing to wait an hour for the next flight to New York one time. You stick a dead person beside me for nine hours and I'll freakin' OWN your airline.


And, not to be mean about it, but, really, since the poor thing was dead, did it matter whether she flew in first-class or economy? How ironic that she probably never got to fly first-class in her life and when she finally did, she was too dead to enjoy it. The fancy noise-blocking headphones, the fabulous choice of individual movies and music channels, the "done been paid for" single-malt Scotch ... I'm just saying.


Perhaps British Airways should take a cue from Singapore Air, which, I swear, has installed "corpse cupboards" on its airliners. Is it just me or should we all be thinking that flying is way more dangerous than we thought?


I imagine even the corpse cupboards are different depending on the price you paid for your airline ticket: a roomy armoire for first-class corpses, a metal school locker for business-class fliers and, for the economy-class corpse, a vacant overhead bin if available or, if not, just a ride up and down the aisles on the bottom tray of the beverage cart for the remainder of the flight.


Which, now that I think about it, would give new meaning to the phrase "stiff drink."

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Celia Rivenbark is an award-winning news reporter and freelance columnist for The Sun News in Myrtle Beach, S.C. Comment by clicking here.


Song lyrics have only gotten dumber
Talk to the clock because the ISP doesn't care
Being a happy human vessel has its limits
Who's not your daddy?
Phoning for dazzlers
Proper spelling begins at home
Sick of the waiting room
Road signs
Halt your motion toward the lotion
Sudoku's got my husband's number
One short stack of smarts, please
Spa me the kids
IRS wants us to like it so much that it smacks of desperation
Uniforms: Soul-sucking sameness
Girls' pajama parties a little different now
Welcome back for guilt-free manly man
A big boo-hoo for disgraced celebs
Girls' pajama parties a little different now
When Bubbas and hoes are extra welcome
Ageless icons can't escape their ages
Gifts to kids' teachers make competitive moms antsy

Kid bumper stickers sure not ‘terrific’

© 2007, The Sun News Distributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services

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