Jewish World Review April 17, 2007 / 29 Nissan, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Jackie Robinson was honored Sunday for breaking baseball's color barrier sixty years ago. The stadium was packed with celebrities. Don Imus showed up wearing a baseball jersey with the number forty-nine on the back, in a tribute to John Rocker.
Chicago was chosen over Los Angeles Saturday to make America's bid to host the Summer Olympics in nine years. It's easy to see how Los Angeles lost out. What's the point of having the games in the United States if nobody knows you're in America?
The Beverly Hills Fire Department was commended Friday for swiftly putting out the wind-fanned fire on Coldwater Canyon Drive the day before. It's embarrassing. The fire did more dollar damage than Hurricane Katrina and it only burned two houses.
The New York Auto Show showcased flashy new Sport Utility Vehicles headed for showrooms this fall. They keep getting bigger. The average American car weighs five hundred pounds more than it did ten years ago, but then so does the average American.
Hillary Clinton told New Hampshire voters Sunday that President Bush's refusal to change course in Iraq is a tragedy of historic proportion. That's fine with her. The more unforgivable the president, the more Hillary Clinton seems to get out of it.
Dick Cheney had a scary moment Friday when a bird flew into the jet engines of Air Force Two as it was on approach to Chicago's airport. Everyone's happy for the vice president. After a very long year of jokes at his expense, he finally hit a bird.
John McCain fell to third in the presidential polls Thursday. He is saving his ammunition for later. John McCain can always point out that unlike Rudy Giuliani, he once hosted an entire episode of Saturday Night Live without wearing women's clothing.
The German Army refused to fire a sergeant who told troops to imagine they are shooting black men in New York. It was caught on tape. When Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson said they're getting death threats, no one thought it was from the German Army.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton