Jewish World Review April 13, 2007 / 25 Nissan, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Rapper Snoop Dogg pleaded no contest to felony drug and gun charges in a Pasadena courtroom Wednesday. It was judgment day. He got five years probation and eight hundred hours of community service, and that's just for saying nappy-headed ho's in his songs.
North Carolina dropped all rape charges against the white Duke lacrosse team members who were falsely accused by a black call girl. It's very sad. If Don Imus could have waited a week to deliver the same tasteless punchline, he'd be alive today.
Don Imus lost his MSNBC show Wednesday over his slur against the Rutgers women's basketball team. Everyone's going to have to be more careful. From now on, shopping mall Santa Clauses who want to keep their jobs will have to learn to say hee-hee-hee.
The Don Imus Show lost CBS Radio sponsors Tuesday after his racial crack. Any future sponsors face a black boycott. By the time he's back on the air, the Don Imus Show will be sponsored by Titleist, the Grand Ole Opry and the Royal Bank of Scotland.
The Sea Diamond cruise ship that sank in the Mediterranean last week began leaking tons of oil near popular vacation islands. It won't hurt summer tourism. Now that people know there's free oil in the water, they're flying in with buckets and gas cans.
Rudy Giuliani campaigned for president in Alabama on Wednesday and he stood by a state's right to fly the Confederate flag. And why not? When you've sat across a courtroom from John Gotti and thrown him in jail, Al Sharpton's not going to scare you.
The White House admitted on Wednesday that e-mails about official business in Karl Rove's office were erased. The deleted e-mails were sent on Republican Party accounts instead of White House accounts to avoid a law that requires preservation of government records. It doesn't clog up the landfills like Hillary's shredder did for eight years.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton