Jewish World Review April 12, 2006 / 14 Nissan, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Dick Cheney threw out the first pitch at the Washington
Nationals home opener Tuesday against the New York Mets. The vice
president's pitch to the plate was low and in the dirt. We found
out the next day he's saving his strike for Iran.
U.S. Rep. Cynthia McKinney apologized on the House floor for
slugging a Capitol Hill cop with her cell phone when he stopped
her at the security entrance. She embarrassed the Democratic
Party. Until now that wasn't possible without DNA evidence.
James Bond fans organized an Internet protest Saturday over
the selection of Daniel Craig to play the British spy. It's
serious. In Los Angeles five hundred thousand fans marched in the
streets demanding that the role go to Antonio Banderas.
The Los Angeles Times says Prius drivers are being harassed
on the freeways for going too slowly. They are being devoured by
angry SUVs. Animal Planet just installed cameras on the Hollywood
Freeway overpass to watch nature take its course.
Bill Clinton entertained customers at a Rhode Island steak
house on Saturday as his wife spoke at Brown University. While
Hillary was being heckled by protesters, Bill thrilled diners and
signed napkins and ate ribs. This First Lady gig is pretty good.
Hispanics took off work in ninety U.S. cities Monday to stage amnesty rallies and protest marches. It was a mixed success. It seemed to go well on Monday, but when they got back to their jobs Tuesday they had been replaced by illegal aliens.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2006, Argus Hamilton