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Jewish World Review April 21, 2005 / 12 Adar II, 5765 The last billionaires ball 2010 By Dave Weinbaum
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
A window of opportunity won't open itself.
Billionaires, aided by our new government, a government of The Judges, by The Judges, and for The Judges, are planning one Hell of an extravaganza in 2010. The very rich and the rebelling Judicial Gods have combined to bankrupt their common enemy, the inept and weak legislative and executive branches of the government of the USA.
The opportunity lies in Congresses' total abatement of inheritance taxes in the year 2010, much to the angst of the Socialist wing of the Democratic Party. It's only a one year window, so billionaires are doing their own estate planning as we speak.
If they all die in 2010, ALL their cash and property go untouched to whomever they want. What a revolutionary idea! Karl Marx is rolling over in his grave. Michael Moore's blood pressure is higher than the shriek Michael Jackson screams after he's convicted of child molestation. Plus they can stick it to the politicians who they weren't able to buy off. You think we have a deficit now? The 100's of billions our government would lose, could throw us into a depression that'll make 1929 look like a garden party. Plus if the inheritors are relatively young as the children and grandchildren of the royalty tend to be, they won't be dying and susceptible to estate taxes for 30 to 50 years.
One doesn't have to be the head clerk at Dunkin' Donuts to know that most billionaires didn't get rich because they liked paying taxes. The last dig a government can take is the grave robbing of the $$$ of said innocent royalty, to line the pockets of government employees and their political friends via pork barrel projects. This is punishment both cruel and unusual. The poor spawns of the wealthy deserve our pity. I mean, they might have to go out into the world and get a real job! Of course, the wealthy childless, like Oprah, may decide to supply the entire south and west sides of Chicagoans with Mercedes.
Hey it's their money, NOT THE GOVERNMENT'S! How's a rich guy going to leave a legacy the size of his ego when alive, if the government takes billions of his hard earned $? It's more frustrating than Thersa Heinz-Kerry trying to win a Miss Congeniality contest at Fox News.
As I speak, Steve Forbes is sending out gold leafed invitations to our countries' billionaires to attend the Valentine Day's Billionaire's Ball of 2010, a week long party of such debauchery that it'll leave Howard Stern blushing. Generously, John Kerry has offered to send wife Theresa to represent them both. (Could he be hoping to be one of her heirs?)
Donald Trump will host at Mar-a-Lago in Palm Beach and tie it to his final and most rewarding reality show. The climax will be a sunrise breakfast cooked lovingly by Martha Stewart, ankle bracelet long removed, topped off by a mimosa with the finest Dom Perigon and Kool-Aid mixed with a lethal dosage of cyanide. The final toast will be administered by Robin Leech, with last rights administered by Dr. Phil, "How's THAT workin' for ya?" The Donald will walk amongst the dying, declaring,"You're DEAD!" before indulging his own potion.
What about the stragglers, those billionaires so stubborn, even the poison can't get through to them? Here's where the Judges can wield their massive power. Just like in the Terri Schiavo case, they can give liberal judgments to the living wills of the rich. Of course the judges will now have the power to get the best help to administer the "final verdict". Say hello to our little death angel, Dr. Kervorkian, magically released from prison by unanimous Judicial Pardon. Dr. Death will help our rich and tax evading moguls to be starved, deprived of water, and the most painful cut, no Wall Street Journal 'til death do them part. Even the fattest richest cat will whither and die within the confines of 2010 if feeding tubes are removed by the last of February.
Once the Judges declare the USA bankrupt they can rightly take it over, raising taxes for all of us(Who'll be there to object?), administering all the cash it raises, and appointing all leaders for then and in the foreseeable future. Bye bye, liberty, hello Judicial Ayatollahism!
For those of you that are skeptical, the final chapter won't be written until the frozen bodies of the poisoned billionaires are thawed, detoxed, and resuscitated. That's right; they'll be legally dead, with the death certificates on file and suddenly appear alive after 2010. Their enriched progeny, that hadn't yet blown the entire fortune in the year or so their benefactors were legally dead, will be obligated under a pre-death contract to support their parents and grandparents in the style they were accustomed. You say, "NOT LEGAL!" Don't forget the final answer on that comes from our Judicial Gods. Guess what THAT ruling will be?
The rejuvenation party will be of such magnitude that the Chief Justice and newly self anointed King, John Edwards I, will deem it the only reality TV program allowed on the air, during its time slot, once again relining Donald Trump's newly revived pockets.
Lessons learned?
1. To err is human, to heir is lucky.
2. Never underestimate the fortitude of the rich when dealing with a greedy, needy government.
3. Congress needs to get its head out of the sand and decide to either cut the tax out or put it back in. I vote they get rid of it.
4. Not dealing with arrogant judges now will have us courting disaster later.
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© 2005, Dave Weinbaum |
Arnold Ahlert | |||||||||||
