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Jewish World Review April 14, 2005 / 5 Adar II, 5765 You may be a news junkie if... By Dave Weinbaum
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
You turn the volume up during one of Chris Matthew's tirades.
You show up for an Ann Coulter book signing hoping to get lucky.
You think Don Imus gives a better interview than Tim Russert.
You look forward to Sunday Morning Interview shows and TIVO shows you aren't watching for later.
You're fascinated by the subtle wit of George Will.
You've toured at least one network newsroom.
You've found Lib talk radio without a Global Positioning Guide.
You make love during O'Reilly Factor reruns.
You read www.jewishworldreview.com every day. (How'd I do, Boss?)
You give Hannity 3 hours a day on the radio, and then watch Hannity and Colmes on the tube, later.
You wake up at 3 AM, and check the Drudge report before going to the bathroom...then once again after.
You sleep within arm's reach of your PC.
You've found a conservative on Bill Maher's Real Time HBO show.
You seek out other news junkies at parties and test your knowledge against theirs.
You become an expert at finding out well-hidden facts to prove your blogs.
You have a Greta Van Susteren poster on your bedroom wall.
You've actually witnessed a guest that was allowed to answer a Chris Matthew's question, BEFORE he answered it for him.
You think Geraldo Rivera is the Willie Loman of the news Biz.
You know better than to cross Brit Hume.
You blog with two computers at the same time.
You call/write/email a news program at least once a week.
You're sad when the opposition won't fight back.
You watch the news while blogging political tirades on the Net.
You have O'Reilly, Hannity, Coulter, Scheffer, book CDS come on automatically during Talk Radio commercials.
You actually think your opinions will make a difference.
One of your top goals in life is to get Bill O'Reilly to bloviate admiringly while reading one of the thousands of emails you've sent him.
You think Santa has a list of who's biased and who's not.
You wake up with the news on your alarm radio, with the TV never turned off from Fox News from the night before.
You buy clothes and coffee mugs from Imus, O'Reilly, Rush, and Hannity websites.
You know more about what's going on in the world at any one time, than the President, Senate and House, combined.
You knew Kerry was unfit for command before the Swifties released their book.
You play golf with headsets connected to the Laura Ingram Talk Show.
You care deeply about the world and what's happening in it.
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© 2005, Dave Weinbaum |
Arnold Ahlert | |||||||||||
