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Oct. 10, 2008

Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski: The limitations of scientific miracles

Caroline B. Glick: Lebanon on the brink --- and why it matters

Oct. 8, 2008

Rabbi Berel Wein: The day when the sane talk to themselves

Ana Veciana-Suarez: Many nonobservant Jews are finding religion

Oct. 7, 2008

Gary Rosenblatt: Of politics and prayer

Caroline B. Glick: The ironies of the West's collusion with the Arabs and Iran

Oct. 6, 2008

Rabbi Yitzchok R. Rubin: Mamma to the masses

Jonathan Tobin: Ahmadinejad Isn't Too Impressed

Oct. 3, 2008

Rabbi A. Henach Leibowitz: The 'living dead' are all around us

Caroline B. Glick: Olmert's parting blows

Oct. 2, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Q: Often customers looking for our competitor accidentally enter our store. Can we just serve them without comment?

Jonathan Tobin: Jewish pundit quiz on next year's news

Sept. 29, 2008

Rabbi Eli Gewirtz: Lehman Brothers and the Day of Judgment

Rabbi Leiby Burnham: Apples, Honey and You

Sept. 26, 2008

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: The shofar and the Echo of Sinai

Caroline B. Glick: A road paved on reality

Sept. 24, 2008

Greg Crosby: Home for the Holy Days

Ethel G. Hofman: Rosh Hashanah Favorites: Old-fashioned taste, reduced calories

Sept. 23, 2008

Caroline Glick: Liberalism or lives!?

Michael Ledeen: Dear President Ahmadinejad

Sept. 22, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Q: I gave a check to a local merchant, but it hasn't been cashed in months. Probably they lost it. Do I have to tell them?

Diana West: We are losing Europe to Islam

Sept. 19, 2008

Rabbi Berel Wein: On harvesting success

Caroline B. Glick: It is time to act

Sept. 18, 2008

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Is camping the panacea to save Jewry from self-destruction?

Craig Gordon: Was SNL hilarity too much for Hillary?

Sept. 17, 2008

Jonathan Tobin: The Whole World Is Watching

The Kosher Gourmet By Linda Gassenheimer: East meets Southwest in this quick meal: MEXICAN-ASIAN TOSTADOS

Sept. 16, 2008

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr. : Into the fire

Everything's Relative : Your Official Jewish Guide to the 2008 USA Presidential Election

Sept. 15, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Enabling risky behavior

Diana West: A day that will live in ... accommodating Islam

Sept. 11, 2008

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: The skeleton in my closet

Rabbi Yechiel Eckstein: Persecution and systematic destruction of Christians in the Middle East must be stopped

Sept. 10, 2008

Jonathan Tobin: There's Something About Sarah

The Kosher Gourmet by Kathy Manweiler: Who needs Chili's when you have these? Recipes for Mexican that taste great and are dietetic! Our commitment to freedom

Sept. 9, 2008

Daniel Pipes: Must counterinsurgency wars fail?

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.:

Sept. 8, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: How far must one go to help somebody out of a contract?

Barry Rubin: Waiting For Something

Sept. 8, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir : How far must one go to help somebody out of a contract?

Barry Rubin: Waiting For Something

March 22, 2007

J-Rhythms with Avraham Rosenblum: JWR's cutting-edge music program showcasing performers -- singers, song writers, musicians, and bands -- who learn and live the Torah lifestyle (OUR NEWEST IGODCAST !)

Oct. 29, 2003
Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)

Jewish World Review April 18, 2005 / 9 Nisan, 5765

For an Intergalactic Wedgie, Stand Right Here

By Joel Stein


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | I always defend my people, as long as it doesn't involve risking bodily harm, spending money or traveling far from my house. So when I found out that journalists were heading to Grauman's Chinese Theater to report mockingly about the nerds in line for "Star Wars" tickets, I knew I had to help. I may not like "Star Wars," but a geek is a geek. Come Bloomsday, these people will have my back.

But I quickly discovered that this wouldn't be easy. These fans, it turned out, were in line six weeks early for a movie everyone knows is going to be lousy. And if that wasn't enough of a cry to get themselves beat up, they're waiting for a movie that isn't even being shown at Grauman's. They might as well pull the back of their underwear out and stand near a flagpole.

Online, I had found a "Star Wars" website with the number for a pay phone near the line, 323-462-9609. It is among the remaining pay phones that takes incoming calls. Maybe letting people make fun of "Star Wars" nerds is SBC's way of giving back to the community.

After several busy signals, Sara Sprague answered. Even in a "Star Wars" line, apparently, the only people who answer the phone are women. Sprague invited me to be embedded in the group, and as we talked, I warmed to the idea.

At 10 a.m. on Wednesday, the line held 12 people, some of whom had been there overnight. They were equipped with laptops, Internet access and a big enough server to make the first "Star Wars."

When I asked Sprague why they lined up for tickets outside a theater that wasn't showing the film, she replied that these fans had been at Grauman's for the last two episodes and hoped that the theater, which has a sound system they find particularly keen, would relent and decide to show the film. Or perhaps, she said, another theater would take pity on them and give them advance tickets.

Beyond that, they came to hang with "Star Wars" friends from across the country and play games involving "Star Wars." Plus they are raising money for the Starlight Foundation. How standing in line raises money was not entirely clear to me, but I assume it involves letting people punch them.

I saw the pay phone I had called. It rang incessantly, usually with calls from pranksters phoning to harass. "We're so used to it," Sprague said. "No one stands in a 'Star Wars' line without expecting to be picked on."

Here was my chance to help. For two hours, I took control of the phone, as eager to hear from bullies as radio talker Tom Leykis is to talk to women who have no self-respect.

What I quickly learned was that the callers used mockery to hide their love of light sabers. Josh, a 17-year-old from Oregon, pretended he was being facetious in claiming he was attracted to Ewoks. Andy, a 16-year-old from Ohio, acted as though he wasn't really envious when inquiring about my place in the line.

My final call was from Dan Mikkelson, a 25-year-old punk-music producer in Hartford, Conn. "Anyone so dedicated to anything, I support," he said.

He thought the line was one of the most punk things he'd ever heard of. "It's beautiful. It's sticking to what you're into against the derision of everyone in the world, especially when they're not even showing it at that theater. It's poetic."

Maybe these people didn't need my help at all. So I left, wishing simultaneously that I had something I was that passionate about, and glad that it wasn't "Star Wars."

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Joel Stein is a Los Angeles Times columnist. Comment by clicking here.

04/12/05 Drew, Babaloo, Barf and Boston
04/05/05 I regret finally learning ‘how to get to Sesame Street’
03/21/05 Counting curses and blunt-force injuries

© 2005 Los Angeles Times Distributed by Los Angeles Times Syndicate

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