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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review April 11, 2005 / 2 Nisan, 5765

Why I Hate Spring

By Tom Purcell


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | I hate spring.

I hate the sunny weather and the birds chirping and people outside smiling and humming, while they spread mulch in their planters.

I hate the buds on the trees and the sweet smell in the air. I hate the way the sun falls gently over the hills at dusk.

I hate everything about spring, because I'm self-employed.

This time, every year, I'm a nervous wreck about my taxes. I worry that I'll owe more than I think I will, and I will. I worry that I'll not get everything organized and tallied up for my accountant in time, and it's always close.

This is because our income tax system is complex. It is complex because drunk people (Congress) designed it so that bureaucrats (the IRS) will convert the incomprehensible into the unfathomable (the tax code) in order to punish productive Americans (the self-employed) in the name of good fun.

To comply with these onerous tax rules, I have developed a highly effective accounting technique: the Big Box Methodology. From the beginning of January through the end of December, I toss every bill, receipt, expense, etc. into a big cardboard box.

Every spring, I am forced to organize and tally every one of these items, so that I can document my business expenses. I must document my business expenses to accomplish what every self-employed person hopes to: to have made as little money as possible the prior year.

I have been in a mighty struggle with big box all winter. He's been calling out to me. "Tom, come on, let's get things in order." But I ignore big box. I ignore his unreasonable demands week after week, and the more I ignore him, the more I worry.

As April 15 nears, I begin taking big box with me. When I go away for the weekend, he is in my back seat. I have high hopes of using my weekend break to organize every slip of paper into a brilliant rendition of how much I earned and spent in 2004, but I never do.

I never do until the LAST week before taxes are due. And without fail, the last week before taxes are due is one of the most beautiful and magical weeks of the year.

As the weather breaks and the world comes to life, I get calls from beautiful women who want to spend time with me. I am offered box seat tickets to baseball games, invitations to cookouts, requests to partake in fun and frivolity of every kind.

But I must turn them all down.

I must turn them down because of Congress. See, when Congress passed the 16th Amendment into law in 1913, they made the income tax deadline March 1st. But in 1955 Congress pushed the deadline to April 15th.

They did this so helpless American taxpayers would have more time to organize and file their taxes, right? Ha, ha. No, they did it to give the IRS more time. But I think there was an additional reason.

Dissatisfied that the cost and complexity of the income tax was not painful enough — this year Americans will waste nearly 6 billion hours and $200 billion dollars preparing their taxes — Congress saw an opportunity to ruin spring, too.

That's why, for the last week, I have been shut off from the world and the gorgeous weather. I've been hunkered down with an intensity and focus that would make the Unabomber wince.

I have been doing battle with big box, trying to make sense of all the receipts, bills, etc. he contains. I've been in English major hell adding, subtracting, documenting, and palpitating.

And yet the worst is yet to come. When I finally get everything organized, I will forward it to my accountant. He will use it to make complex tax-code calculations. Then he will tell me I owe way more than I thought I did.

That is why I hate spring.

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