In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review April 19, 2005 / 10 Nisan, 5765

Yes, You Can Change

By Marty Nemko

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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Imagine you had a heart attack and bypass surgery. Your doctor says, "Better change your lifestyle or you're dead." Would you change? According to Dr. Edward Miller, dean of Johns Hopkins Medical School and CEO of the John Hopkins Medical Center, only 10% do.

It's tough to change, even when your life is at stake. So, how in the world can you expect yourself to start looking for a job, to get your co-worker to be more motivated, or your spouse to be kinder to you?

The cover story of the May issue of Fast Company, synthesizing the latest research, offers help:

1. The time to change is now. Don't think that to change, you must first hit rock bottom. It doesn't get much more rock bottom than a heart attack, yet it still doesn't motivate most patients to change their lifestyle.

2. Go cold turkey. Gradual approaches fail because the benefits don't come quickly enough. When famed cardiologist Dr. Dean Ornish insisted that his patients with cardiac-caused chest pain change their diet not moderately but radically, in just two weeks, their pain significantly decreased. Because of the rapid results, the percentage of patients who stayed on the diet wasn't 10 percent. It was 77 percent. So, if you want to change something about yourself, create a zero-tolerance plan: for example, every time you contemplate procrastinating, force yourself to do the task, non-negotiable.

3. To motivate change, use emotion more than facts. As every advertising agency knows, our behavior is motivated more by emotion than by facts. Want to be a kinder boss? Think about how embarrassed you'd feel if, behind your back, your supervisees called you an ogre. Want to motivate your supervisees? Tell them stories of how customers' lives have been changed as a result of the company's products.

Here are other techniques that have helped my clients (and me) to change:

4. Reduce fear to a manageable level. Your goal is not to be fearless. That takes too long. Just reduce your fear enough so you can feel the fear and do it anyway. Here are ways to reduce your fear:

a. Increase your skill. For example, let's say you're scared you'll sound like an idiot if you cold-call a prospective employer. Solution: practice with a tape recorder, mirror, or friend until you're no longer terrified.

b. Imagine the worst that could happen. For example, let's say you cold-called and you did sound like an idiot. Could you survive?

c. This won't work for me, but has for many: faith in G-d: Tina was terribly afraid of looking for a job because she was afraid she'd fail again. She prayed and felt G-d's support, which calmed her down enough to look for a job. By the way, she recently landed a temp job, and after just a few weeks was so successful, she was offered a well-paying permanent position.

5. Eliminate choice. I had tried a million times to lose weight, to no avail, but one time, I decided I'd eat exactly the same thing three times a day, with no deviations. Eliminating any choice enabled me to succeed.

6. Build momentum. My diet's first few days were tough, but soon, my new eating practices became automatic. Make the extra effort to be perfect in your new behavior and after a few days, you'll find it getting easier and easier.

7. Constant reminders. Your bad ways have been hard-wired into your brain. To undo that wiring usually requires constant reminders. So if, for example, your goal is to be less stressed, give yourself pep talks, aloud if possible. "I really want to be less stressed. I can do it!" Put the word "calm" on your computer monitor, on your refrigerator, anywhere you're likely to be stressed. Every time you drink something, force yourself to say, "I will be calm." Keep a chart of how calm you are each day on a scale from 0 (basket case) to 10 (guru calm.) Daily or weekly, tell or email your loving taskmaster your score for the most recent period.

If some other "magic pill" made you change, please email me your story. I plan to write a follow-up column consisting of your emails.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

400+ of Dr. Nemko's published writings are on www.martynemko.com. Comment by clicking here.


© 2005, Dr. Marty Nemko