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Jewish World Review April 21, 2005 / 12 Nisan II, 5765 Little ketchup packets do expire — who knew?; best-known character in all of English Literature By Jeff Elder http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Q: I'd be willing to say that nearly everyone has at one time or another saved the ketchup packets that fast-food places dish out. What is the shelf life of this stuff? — Alan Beckley A: Alan, when I got my current newspaper job, I pulled open a drawer of my new desk and discovered: Dozens — maybe even hundreds — of ketchup packets. Moses parted the Red Sea. My predecessor parted with it. I threw `em away, even though fast-food is one of the five journalist food groups. (Hops, vending machine stuff, freebies and "you gonna eat that?" make up the rest.) I just didn't know how long those packets had been in there. And like you, I felt uneasy. The people at Heinz told me you can keep those li'l red squeezers for a year to 15 months. Ketchup doesn't go bad quickly, because of the acidity of tomatoes and its vinegar content. (Mustard and relish packets can last up to TWO years, Heinz said.) "We have heard of consumers eating ketchup that was more than a decade old — and enjoying it," Robin Teets of Heinz told me. There's nothin' like a full-bodied, 1994 red. But how do you know how old packets already are when you get them? Don't worry, experts told us. Restaurants move packets quickly. Anyplace that's holding onto ketchup packets for years probably presents far larger health issues. I hate to point this out, but you could just BUY a whole bottle of ketchup for a buck and a quarter. (I know, I know ... That takes all the SPORT out of it.) Catch up on the very latest trivia Getting the last ketchup out of the bottle? Don't hit the bottom, tap the neck. (YES, you still have to hold the bottle upside down.) You one of those who thinks ketchup packets are too small? Me too. Heinz now makes Twice As Much packets at 18 grams. Yes, they are double normal size. Want to check out lots of condiment packets — as art? (People need hobbies.) Click here to check out condiment packet museums: http://tinyurl.com/3u5wh www.clearfour.com/condiment/ Q: My friend and I have been having an argument about the best-known character in all of English Literature. I think it is probably Ebenezer Scrooge from Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol" and he says it is Gulliver from Jonathan Swift's "Gulliver's Travels." Are we both wrong? Also, we could think of mostly British characters. What are the best-known American literary characters? — David Merrell A: I've read that you really can't understand the French until you know Cyrano de Bergerac, the long-nosed swordsman and poet created by playwright Edmond Rostand. And I've heard that Spain as a country will never entirely make sense until you've gotten to know Don Quixote, Miguel Cervantes' man of La Mancha. The people we meet in books help show us who we are, as nations, and as individuals. I don't think you and your pal are wrong, David. You both named extremely prominent characters. I came up with a different list of most well-known — not best — literary characters: Best-known English lit characters. Romeo and Juliet: Young love always gets great ratings. I seemed to somehow just KNOW these names and the tragic situation of Shakespeare's young couple even while I was just a small child. Winnie the Pooh: You said best-known, not most important. King Lear and Jane Eyre might've contributed more to English lit, but everyone knows A.A. Milne's ponderous little bear. And a lot of us like him. Sherlock Holmes: The familiar detective was such a sensation in the late 1800s that fans wouldn't let A. Conan Doyle kill him off. And his lean image — pipe in hand, becloaked, deer-stalker's hat pulled down — hasn't faded much since. Honorable mention: Ian Fleming's Bond, James Bond; Mary Shelley's Frankenstein monster; Hamlet; and J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter. Best-known American lit characters. You're right that these are a bit harder to come by. We've had a shorter literary history than Britain — and TV and movies and music have stolen a lot of the thunder. Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer: Mark Twain's boys ARE America: Rebellious youth who love the outdoors and resent authority. Scarlett O'Hara: We might think of her as flash-eyed Vivien Leigh, but she came to life in Margaret Mitchell's "Gone With The Wind." The Great Gatsby: Some say F. Scott Fitzgerald's novel is America's greatest, and that the title character personifies the "promise and corruption of the American Dream." Honorable mention: Holden Caulfield from J.D. Salinger's "The Catcher in the Rye"; Dr. Seuss' "The Cat in the Hat"; Ernest Hemingway's old man and his sea; and Harper Lee's Atticus Finch from "To Kill A Mockingbird." What'd I mess up? Oh, you'll tell me Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. Jeff Elder is a columnist for The Charlotte Observer. Comment or try to stump him by clicking here. If you send him a great question, he'll send you a Glad You Asked T-shirt. Archives © 2005, The Charlotte Observer Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services.

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