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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review April 29, 2005 / 20 Nissan, 5765

Millions flee Katie Couric

By Andy Borowitz


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‘Today’ host ignites frenzied run for the border

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Incidents of widespread panic were reported across the country today as millions of terrified Americans fled Katie Couric, the host of the NBC's "Today Show."


The frenzied exodus marked the latest turn in the storied career of the morning host, once considered America's sweetheart but now widely seen as a ruthless diva capable of crushing all in her path at the slightest whim.


Gregory Drunson, 42, was one of hundreds who jammed a Greyhound bus terminal in Flint, Michigan, desperate to flee to Canada and be as far away as possible from the once-chirpy morning despot.


"I used to watch 'Today' every morning," Mr. Drunson said. "Now when I turn it on I am afraid that Katie Couric will burn a hole in me with her heat vision. I'm getting the hell out of here!"


The flood of refugees from Katie Couric might be the decisive factor in tipping the balance in the ratings war between "Today" and its closest rival, ABC's "Good Morning America."


According to Jode Croydon, who tracks the broadcasting industry for Credit Suisse First Boston, "News footage showing people packing up their belongings on the roofs of their cars to escape from Katie Couric could be harmful to the ratings of 'Today,' going forward."


But not so, says Jeff Zucker, President of the NBC Universal Television Group: "Anytime something happens that gets people talking about your show again it's a good thing, and this lemming-like rush to flee Katie definitely has people talking."


Elsewhere, the manufacturers of the Airbus A380 said that the giant plane will enable airlines to lose larger pieces of luggage than ever before.

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JWR Contributor Andy Borowitz, the first-ever recipient of the National Press Club's Award for Humor, is a former president of the Harvard Lampoon,and a regular humor columnist for Newsweek.com, The New Yorker, The New York Times and TV Guide. Recognized by Esquire magazine as one of the most powerful producers in television, he was the creator and producer of the hit TV series The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and producer of the Oscar-nominated film Pleasantville.

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