February 10, 2012 Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: The biblical case against small-mindedness involved diminishing His precious prophet Caroline B. Glick: The Peace Process is over. Finally Lisa M. Krieger: Man with defibrillator demands access to his own heart's information David G. Savage: Why activists may not be in a hurry to have High Court rule on alternative marriage Rachel Koning Beals: Gen X Women Continue to Shrink Gender Investing Gap The Kosher Gourmet by Faith Durand: Who Says You Can't Make Restaurant Favorites at Home?: MANGO AND STICKY RICE February 9, 2012 Jeff Strickler: An argument a day keeps the divorce away, they say Clifford D. May: CAIR's Crusade against The Third Jihad Melissa Healy: Study finds jolt to the brain boosts memory Laura McMullen: 10 Least Expensive Public Schools for Out-of-State Students Kimberly Palmer: How to actually enjoy -- relaxing, financially -- your vacation Emily Brandon: 10 Necessities for a Great Retirement Spot The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Winter Squash and Red Swiss Chard Risotto is Colorful Cozy Cold Weather Fare (includes detailed dos and don'ts) February 8, 2012 Rivy Poupko Kletenik: Tree hostility: The auspicious history of the evolution of Tu B'Shevat Steven Emerson: Planting Trees is Racist?! Warren Richey: Why momentous Prop. 8 ruling might not satisfy gay-rights groups Anne Applebaum: Russia's Potemkin democracy Menachem Wecker: Though Controversial, LL.M.'s Can Lead to Specialized Legal Jobs Emily Brandon: 10 Necessities for a Great Retirement Spot The Kosher Gourmet byDana Velden: Going to the bother of making soup? You know it better be good. This CREAM OF TOMATO SOUP certainly is! And it's a cinch to make, too (Includes techinques and serving secrets) February 7, 2012 Kathleen Hennessey and Christi Parsons: Obama not worried that birth-control move will hurt his re-election chances with Catholics, other faithful Caroline B. Glick: Obama's rhetorical storm Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Caught off-guard? President's Super Bowl interview with Matt Lauer gives those who need a reason not to vote for him, a darn good one Suzanne Bohan: Leaping lizards! Tiny reptiles advancing robot design David Francis: How to Avoid an IRS Audit The Kosher Gourmet by Emma Christensen: These homemade energy bars (3 recipes) are far better workout fuel than commercial ones, packing power and taste February 6, 2012 Scott Peterson: Iran's top ayatollah: We're trumping the West Jonathan Tobin: Iran Threatens Israel With Destruction, But the New York Times Doesn't Hear It Jeffrey Fleishman: In newly democratic Egypt, tens of democracy activists jailed, to stand trial; their groups are 'threatening the stability of the homeland' Julie Deardorff : Researchers say antioxidants may not be that effective and could do more harm than good Philip Moeller: Where Smart Investors Put Their Money Mark Clayton: How did Anonymous hackers eavesdrop on FBI and Scotland Yard? The Kosher Gourmet by Joseph Erdos: Vegetable Frittata --- leftovers never tasted so scrumptious February 3, 2012 Rabbi Dr. Warren Goldstein: Living with ideals --- in reality Caroline B. Glick: Fool me twice Jonathan Tobin : Adelsonphobia Strikes in Nevada Caucus Edmund Sanders : Israeli official says Iran is creating missile that could reach East Coast of US Kimberly Palmer : 8 Ways to Get Ready for Retirement Now Victoria Kim: Immigrant-smuggling ring used black drivers to avoid racial profiling The Kosher Gourmet by Faith Durand: A quick cookie recipe: Hazelnut and Olive Oil Shortbread: Sweet, Nutty, and Savory February 2, 2012 Rabbi Yaakov Rosenblatt : Welcome Home, Governor Perry Jim Carney: Wrong number call may have saved her life Reza Kahlili : Ex-CIA spy in Iran's Revolutionary Guard: What Obama doesn't grasp about striking deals with Tehran Kelsey Sheehy : 5 Tips for Choosing an M.B.A. Concentration Rachel Koning Beals : Investors Increasingly Tap Social Media for Stock Tips Tina Susman: For woodchuck rescuer, every day is Groundhog Day The Kosher Gourmet by Leela Cyd Ross : Savory vegetable pie is a taste of European bistro with minimal effort and maximal flavor February 1, 2012 Nara Schoenberg: What to do when you've been dissed Michelle Malkin: First, They Came for the Catholics Brian Bennett: US officials see increasing threat of domestic attack from Iran Lisa M. Krieger: Possible breakthrough in preventing Alzheimer's Emily Brandon: How to Take Advantage of New 401(k) Fee Disclosures Susan Johnston: 5 Apps for Organizing Your Expenses at Tax Time The Kosher Gourmet by Mario Batali: The famed chef's Broccoli and White Bean Soup can easily be a lunch in itself, or a nice antipasto --- and is hard to mess up January 31, 2012 Paul Greenberg: Separation of Church and State works two ways Caroline B. Glick: Hamas and the Washington establishment Frank J. Gaffney Jr.: Uncle Sam is joining in efforts to crack down on Islamists' critics Danielle Kurtzleben: The 10 Worst Cities for Finding a Job Laura McMullen: 3 Tips to Overcome a Bad Grade in College The Kosher Gourmet by Faith Durand: Orzo dish mixes plump, chewy grains with caramelized onions, garlic, mushrooms and sweet potato January 30, 2012 Rabbi Avi Shafran: Blind faith and physics Paul Richter and Ramin Mostaghim: Misreading Teheran's limits -- deadly and economically devastating as they may be -- is a risk administration, Europe seem willing to take Suzanne Bohan: Warning: Nap-deprived tots missing more than sleep, study finds Meg Handley: Banks Revamping Rewards Programs to Woo Customers Menachem Wecker: 3 Do's and Don'ts for Healthy Studying in College The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Butternut Squash Gratin with Tomato Fondue is a combination of the sweet and creamy January 27, 2012 Rabbi Berel Wein: What Pharaoh can teach us sophisticates about being stubborn Caroline B. Glick: Obama: Of course I intend to prevent a nuclear holocaust . . . in a few months Yochonon Donn: In liberal New York City, fervently-Orthodox Jews may soon be getting a district to call their own Jeannine Stein: An inflated ego and thinking you're 'all that' doesn't just make others sick of you, it can make you ill Katy Hopkins: New budget rules may affect how much money you get for college The Kosher Gourmet by Emma Christensen: Barigoule is a light and tangy dish of artichoke hearts stewed in white wine January 26, 2012 Jonathan Tobin: Newt the closet anti-Semite? Ed Koch: To the New York Times, calling for the murder of Jews by those capable of having their incitement taken seriously isn't news Martin Peretz: One Year Later: The Failure of the Arab Spring Rachel Koning Beals: Need to Know info before investing in Muni Bonds this year Jeannine Stein: Mental illness struck one in five U.S. adults in 2010: Report The Kosher Gourmet by Leela Cyd Ross: Curried Coconut Carrot Soup. Need we say more? January 25, 2012 Andrew Silow-Carroll: Speak politics the Jewish way! Richard Simon: House passes two bills endorsing the use of religious symbols at military memorials Fred Weir: Putin: Multiethnic Russia cannot survive as a US-style 'melting pot'; must find its own way Susan Johnston: 5 Sneaky Coupon Strategies Consumers Should Watch Out For Menachem Wecker: Adding an extra 'm' -- marriage -- to that M.B.A. Melissa Healy: Harnessing shrooms' magic The Kosher Gourmet by Hilary Meyer: 3 Secrets Leave All of the Comfort in this 'Comfort Food', but few of the Calories January 24, 2012 Carol Clark: The price of your soul: How your brain decides whether to 'sell out' Caroline B. Glick: America lost most in 'Arab Spring'. Sadly, many voters still don't grasp the extent Warren Richey: Drug criminal scores win in GPS ruling from conservative-leaning high court Jada A. Graves: 6 Careers to Watch in 2012 Jason Koebler: Who Should Have Access to Student Records? Erika Bolstad: Black conservatives gather to talk about gaining strength The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: This luscious fruit bread marries toasted pecans with juicy pears. Perfect with a pot of tea January 23, 2012 Melissa Dribben: Jewish voters to play a key role in Florida's Republican primary Stephanie Hanes: Toddlers to tweens: Relearning how to play Jack Kelly : Still ignoring history Rachel Koning Beals: Awkward Questions You Must Ask Your Financial Adviser Jordan Rau: In quest to grow, Catholic hospital system will announce this morning its break from church Ali Safi: U.S. envoy gives Taliban terms for peace talks The Kosher Gourmet by Emma Christensen: Spanakopita is a golden pie that manages to be healthy yet still taste indulgent January 19, 2012 Clifford D. May: How terrorists lose their stigma Suzanne Bohan: Vanquishing social anxieties without drugs Lisa Fernandez and Sean Webby: In alternative lifestyle, domestic violence means men as victims and women being abusers Danielle Kurtzleben: The 10 Best Cities for Finding a Job The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Three bean soup with gremolata January 18, 2012 Edward I. Koch: Why the Crocodile Tears, Hillary? David G. Savage: Supreme Court to Principals: You have been warned George Friedman of Stratfor: Iran, the U.S. and the Strait of Hormuz Crisis Jason Koebler: 'Holy Grail' of Flu Vaccines by Next Year Alex M. Parker: The Off-the-Radar Congressional Targets of 2012 The Kosher Gourmet by Susan Russo: Got soft apples? Make Apple-Maple Walnut Breakfast Quinoa January 17, 2012 Frank J. Gaffney Jr.: No-kidding red lines: U.S. response to an Iranian nuke may be bluster, but Israel's won't be David G. Savage: They sued their principals after slandering them online --- now the cases are headed to the Supreme Court Sharon Palmer, R.D.: Believe it or not, your cuppa joe offers potential health perks David Francis: Where to Invest in 2012: With stocks expected to rebound, opportunity abounds for investors Confronting the Car Nerds on their home turf --- the Detroit Auto Show (VIDEO; 3 minutes) The Kosher Gourmet by Emma Christensen: Eleventh-Hour Freezer Pasta, Made Interesting: Ravioli with romesco sauce; Tortellini salad with apples and walnuts January 13, 2012 Chief Rabbi Dr. Warren Goldstein: Expansion Of Spirit (PROFOUND yet UPLIFTING) Ben Lynfield: Israeli lawmakers move to annex Jewish Judea, one museum at a time Rachel Koning Beals:Top Complaints About Daily Deal Sites --- how to avoid missteps Alexia Elejalde-Ruiz: Thriving through touch: Gentle massage helps older people with low mobility improve in mind and body The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Braised Oxtail Stew with Olives January 12, 2012 Warren Richey: Landmark Supreme Court ruling a 'resounding win' for religious groups Warren Richey: Supreme Court says no to new rule on eyewitness testimony Ken Dilanian and David S. Cloud: In secret study, CIA and 15 other U.S. intelligence agencies warn Obama against leaving Afghanistan too soon John Fauber : Statins found to raise diabetes risk in postmenopausal women Katy Hopkins : Consider This Before You Pay for an Online Degree Menachem Wecker : 4 Technology Must Haves for Online Students The Kosher Gourmet by Joseph Erdos: This mushroom and barley soup has an intense -- almost nutty -- flavor that mixes robust with Middle East. It has creaminess without cream January 11, 2012 Shari Roan: Millions of atrial fibrillation sufferers at risk for devastating, but preventable, stroke Tom Hussain: Pakistan -- recipient of more than $21 billion in civilian and military aid -- speeds pursuit of Iranian pipeline, defying US David G. Savage: High court signals it won't be loosening TV's 'indecency' rules Stephen Ceasar: Oklahoma's Islamic law amendment can't go into effect, court rules Rachel Koning Beals: Should You Invest in Bond Funds or Individual Issues? The Kosher Gourmet by Faith Durand : Colorful Lentil Salad with Walnuts and Herbs January 10, 2012 Reza Kahlili: From an ex-CIA spy: US must exploit new split in Iran's Revolutionary Guard Karen Kaplan: Study: Nicotine replacement products ineffective when used in real-life situations Paul Bedard: Study: Is Fox Too Balanced? Rachel Koning Beals: Is it Time to Move into Homebuilder Stocks? The Kosher Gourmet by Carolyn Malcoun: Brothy Chinese Noodles Half the Sodium (and More Than Twice the Fiber!) January 9, 2012 Caroline B. Glick: The land-for-peace hoax (MUST-READ/FORWARD/SHARE) Michael Doyle: Put through legal hell over dream home, couple fought back hard --- all the way to Supreme Court Bonnie Miller Rubin: The new college-admission essay: Short and tweet(ish) Rachel Koning Beals: Why Mid-Caps Stand Out in This Slow-Growth Stretch The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Cumin seed roasted cauliflower with salted yogurt, mint and pomegranate seeds January 6, 2012 Jonathan Rosenblum: Greatness --- and those who sully it Clifford D. May: The Historian, the Diplomat, and the Spy Paul Bedard: Study: Obama Is Late Night's Biggest Joke Rachel Koning Beals: An Investing Guide to Closed-End Funds The Kosher Gourmet by Faith Durand: Slow Cooker Peppered Beef Shank in Red Wine

Jewish World Review April 8, 2005 / 28 Adar II, 5765 Best comedy writers work for the IRS By Lori Borgman http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | I have a long-standing tradition of getting surly at tax time. This happens to many people, but is especially likely to happen to those of us who are self-employed. The husband, whom I find to be thorough and honest to the point of obsessive, sometimes questions the accuracy of my record keeping. At such times, I am prone to turn on him and his manila envelopes stuffed with receipts, check registers, pay stubs and computer printouts and affectionately refer to him as a dinosaur. He responds with some crack about how do I think I'd look in an orange jumpsuit, and the next thing you know we are in that Ladies Home Journal feature, "Can This Marriage Be Saved?" The husband knows it is important to keep me in good humor while working on taxes. He often does this by giving me interesting things to read from the 1040 instruction booklet. Last year he supplied me with entertaining material on tax deductions that include yachts, luxury vacations, golf outings and trips to Vegas. He believes that if my hands are holding reading material, they are less likely to be rifling through his highly-organized records or inching around his neck. This year he has thoughtfully directed me to the section of the instruction booklet titled "Other Income." In the middle column of page 27 of form 525, you will find, in bold print, BRIBES. "If you receive a bribe, include it in your income." There's more. In addition to bribes, the IRS would also like you to report kickbacks. "You must include kickbacks, side commissions, push money or similar payments you receive in your income . . . " So I guess you go to H&R Block, hand over the W-2s and say, "Oh, by the way, add in 15 grand under other income for a construction contract I threw to my brother-in-law." Maybe if you pay your 23 percent in taxes, nobody bats an eye or asks for an explanation. The IRS would also like you to report — ready? — illegal income. "Illegal income, such as money from dealing illegal drugs, must be included in your income on Form 1040, line 21, or on Schedule C or Schedule C-EZ (Form 1040) if from your self-employment activity." My question is this: Do you just write the amount of income from illegal drugs on line 21, or do you also draw an arrow into the margin and scribble, "Meth lab good this yr., pls don't tell Momma, her heart ain't that strong." Finally, the IRS would also like you to report stolen property. "If you steal property, you must report its fair market value in your income in the year you steal it unless in the same year, you return it to its rightful owner." "Hello, IRS? Yes, I'd like to amend my tax return from two years ago. Well, I have some stolen property, DVD players, computers, fine jewelry, you know, the usual, and I just realized I forgot to report it under other income. Now, can I just amend that on-line or do you want me to come down to the IRS office in person? "OK, sure. Does it matter to you if I come down in my own car or, say, borrow a BMW out of the bank parking lot, as long as I assess fair market value for next year's return?" Whoever said the Feds don't have a sense of humor must not have been filing tax returns. This light-hearted tax moment has been brought to you courtesy of the IRS and the dinosaur. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. JWR contributor Lori Borgman is the author of , most recently, "Pass the Faith, Please" (Click HERE to purchase. Sales help fund JWR.) and I Was a Better Mother Before I Had Kids To comment, please click here. To visit her website click here. ARCHIVES © 2005, Lori Borgman

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