Jewish World Review April 14, 2004 /24 Nisan, 5764
important news ....
Democrats were reported Monday to be nervous about the
timing of the release of Bill Clinton's book with all its
publicity. Nobody will mind the steep hardcover price. Americans
have always felt that a great comedian is worth every penny.
John Kerry released a middle-class misery index on Monday to
demonstrate his compassion and empathy. He said the middle class
is caught in a health care squeeze. He understands because for
nine years his bank account has been on a ketchup drip.
Los Angeles International Airport was shut down Monday after
a bird was electrocuted on a power pole at the airport, causing a
power outage. It was inevitable. No one wants to blame it on
terrible airline food, but passengers from Kentucky are no longer
allowed window seats while the plane is taking off.
The Alamo starring Billy Bob Thornton as Davy Crockett was
released in movie theaters Friday about the famous siege battle.
Some things never change. Today, Dos Equis and Sam Adams are still
fighting over the lucrative Texas alcoholics market.
CBS Radio News reported Friday that vacation destination
states like Florida are worried that high gasoline prices may kill
summer travel. Gas prices are insane in California. The longest
line at the Chevron station in Beverly Hills is for oats.
John Kerry infuriated commuters with his entrance into
Chicago Thursday. His twelve-car motorcade shut down the entire
Kennedy Expressway during rush hour. Cubs fans never thought it
could happen, but the heat is finally off Steve Bartman.
Senator John Kerry declared Friday that President Bush is
planning spending cuts that are almost criminal. He said the
president's budget is unbelievable, morally unacceptable and
staggering. Then he realized he was reading his standard
introduction to Teddy Kennedy that gets him the big laughs at
John McCain was interviewed on the Today show Thursday. He swore he will not be John Kerry's running mate. John McCain said he's an Abe Lincoln Republican and he is, if you can imagine a short, chubby, and not always so honest Abe Lincoln.
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