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Jewish World Review March 3, 2021 Rogue Report By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Mr. Potato Head's name was restored in small letters to the front bottom of the box Thursday under the headline name Potato Head after a public outcry. It never ends. In further news, Idaho Potatoes will no longer be referred to as Idaho, because many feel it demeans sex workers named Ida.
• The White House reported its satisfaction with the rapidly increasing rate of Covid vaccination doses being produced, distributed and given. The Las Vegas Review-Journal reports O.J. Simpson received his second vaccine shot last Friday. So both strains of Covid should be dead by this weekend.
• Variety says Warner Brothers is meeting with Superman director JJ Abrams about making the next movie about a black Superman. It'd require one script change for credibility's sake. Instead of exposure to Kryptonite being what could drain his super-powers and kill him, it'd be a Kardashian.
• The U.S. Postal Service reported losing six hundred fifty million dollars in the first quarter. And they never deliver you good news. If the mail you open sometimes causes you anxiety, imagine the look on Santa Claus's face yesterday when he got a letter asking him for a Pan-Gender Potato Head.
• Tiger Woods released a note from Cedars Sinai saying he's recovering from his SUV crash. It divided the nation. Americans were horrified to see the SUV wreckage but relieved Tiger came out alive, while L.A. people were glad Tiger came out alive but horrified to know he was driving a Hyundai. • Tiger Woods did not say in his Saturday statement if he plans to try to play golf again. I myself was raised in the game, but now I'm too superstitious to take it back up. You know you're getting older when you refuse to play golf because you don't want to get that close to a hole in the ground. • The NTSB is investigating a Boeing jet engine that fell off near Denver last month. It's been wild in the air lately. Recently the cargo door of a transport plane flying food from South Karea to North Korea accidentally opened up at 30,000 feet and for 15 minutes it was raining cats and dogs.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2020, Argus Hamilton |
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