Speaker Paul Ryan fought off claims by Democrats that the GOP health care plan would cost more people their coverage than Obamacare. Both parties in Congress approach health care the same way the Amish go hunting. They sneak up behind a deer in the forest and build a barn around it.
• The White House said Monday that President Trump will host China's president Xi Jinping at Trump's Mar-a-Lago estate in Palm Beach during the first weekend in April. That sounds about right. Donald Trump has been president for almost ten weeks, it's about time he met with the owners.
• The Hollywood Reporter confirmed reports that O.J. Simpson may be released from the Nevada State Prison in July. TMZ reports that in anticipation of his release, O.J. is already being courted to star in his own reality TV series. It's being pitched as a cross between The Bachelor and Survivor.
• Utah former governor Jon Huntsman was nominated by the president last week to be the next United States ambassador to Russia. It's a dangerous career move in today's climate. He knows it's only a matter of time before House Democrats move to impeach him for talking with the Russians.
• The Gallup poll Friday shows low approval for Congress. House Democrats think a billionaire Baby Boomer raised in the Cold War would collude with Russians and House Republicans think they'll craft health care for the poor. A House photo would look like A Day without Idiots protest rally.
• North Korea's Kim Jung Un fired four missiles at Japan, stoking war tension Friday. He's just not happy unless he's being provocative. Sometimes Kim leaves a cup of water next to one of his house plants and lets it die, that the way the other house plants know that Kim doesn't screw around.
• The Daily Star said women in China are flooding plastic surgeons with requests to make them look like Ivanka Trump. Copying celebrities is risky. A young woman asked her plastic surgeon in L.A. to make her just like Kim Kardashian, so he gave her a boob job, butt implants and a lobotomy.
• Ivanka Trump's clothing line sales soared online despite retail boycotts in February. Political issues dot the retail wars. The Federal Trade Commission just banned an ad campaign by Bayer aspirin that advertises Bayer as the GOP health care plan, not for being false but for being premature.
• The White House ordered forty U.S. attorneys fires who'd been appointed Obama Friday. The administration feels undermined by all the Democratic holdovers. An intruder broke into the White House Saturday but the White House usher told him he was too late, the intruder is already in charge.
• The White House said Pentagon spending increases will be offset by President Trump's plans to cut in other areas. He'll cut over a billion dollars from the Coast Guard. You figure if you're the president, the easier it is to get cocaine into this country, the nicer Saturday Night Live will be to you.
• The Statue of Liberty went dark Wednesday night when an unexpected power outage shorted all the lights on the famed landmark for over an hour. It caused a ruckus. When President Trump heard that a dark lady from France was looming at New York's port of entry, he ordered her deported.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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