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Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review March 13, 2017

The News in Zingers

By Argus Hamilton





http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | • The White House confirmed on Thursday that U.S. Marines are now on the ground in Syria to help destroy ISIS in the region. The administration also announced the prime minister of Iraq plans to visit the White House in ten days. Let's watch the fun when he tries to enter the United States.


• House Republicans fast-tracked the GOP health care bill through committees. The leadership wants you to know their plan stressed personal responsibility. For over a century, Americans have been relying on other people, like doctors and paramedics for their health care needs.


• The GOP health care plan passed committee votes as Republicans leaders fought with conservatives over tax credits. There are other health care plans out there. For instance, Putin Care offers each Russian two shots to the back of the head if you have a cold and you know too much.


• Senate Democrats ripped the House GOP health care bill , saying that it favors the rich and would leave millions of poor people without health care. That's the party line. If the Democrats had their way, the America's Cup would begin a half-mile upstream from Niagara Falls.


• Barack Obama's half-brother Malik Obama produced a birth certificate Thursday that shows that Barack was born in Kenya when it was a British Colony. This is serious. It nearly killed the Democrats that Trump got elected but they might commit mass suicide if it turns out he was also right.


• Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin caused the markets to balk when he announced he will ask Congress to raise the debt ceiling. For crying out loud, it's already at twenty trillion dollars. We may have cut back the space program but we haven't given up our quest to reach infinity.


• President Trump greeted school kids at the White House. He was a bit embarrassed when a camera revealed he'd repaired the neck tie he was wearing with Scotch tape. Democrats joked the billionaire was too cheap to buy a new tie, while Republicans blamed Obama for taping him.


• The White House said President Trump's tweet late Saturday night saying Obama wiretapped his phone will be referred to Congress. North Korea, Iran and Russia learned a valuable strategic lesson from the president's outburst. Never bother Trump when he's watching Saturday Night Live.


• Former Director of National Intelligence James Clapper told Meet the Press there was no evidence of Russian collusion with the Trump campaign. He also said U.S. spy agencies don't use classified information on political opponents. That's the IRS' job and they're in a different union.


• Wikileaks released leaked CIA documents revealing the CIA's got the ability to spy on people during their most intimate moments at home through their smart phones and laptop screens. Not everyone is worried. Los Angeles is the only city where people think the CIA doesn't watch us enough.


• The CIA hunted for leakers after Wikileaks revealed they can spy on foreign agents through their smart-phones. They're outraged that somebody leaked secret information they stole in the first place. It's like the prostitute who told the judge she decided she'd been raped when the check bounced.


• Mercedes-Benz announced it will produce the world's most luxurious and powerful SUV made. Priced at half a million dollars, it may weigh an extra a ton with all the luxury accessories. They gave this SUV an American name, in fact it's named after the new EPA Secretary.


• The New York Times says Barack Obama is irked and aggravated by the charges by President Trump that Obama bugged his Trump Tower campaign office phone just before the election. He's acting guiltier by the day. He's just vowed to spend the rest of his life looking for the real wire-tapper.


• President Trump called Senator Rand Paul from the Oval Office to push for the GOP health care bill. It was just Trump and Senator Paul on the line, plus the CIA, the NSA, Barack and the Russians. Whenever Trump calls Domino's, it's like ordering pizza for an entire fraternity house.


• Fox News cited a jobs survey saying three hundred-forty-six thousand jobs were created in the U.S. during President Trump's first month in office. And that excludes paid protestors. Whistling Dixie is when CNN commentators complain it's going to be a long four years under President Trump.


• The Dallas Morning News reported Wednesday that the Texas Highway Patrol arrested a man for indecent exposure after people witnessed him having sex with a fence along a state highway near Austin. The news traveled quickly over the border. Mexico just named him their national mascot.


• The GOP health care bill rolled out this week ends the ten percent Obamacare tax on tanning salon sessions that helped fund Obamacare. Trump has reversed Obama's Mexican border policy and now he's ending Obama's ten percent excise tax on indoor tanning sessions. Leave it to Democrats to help brown people become Americans and then tax Americans who want to become browner people.


• House Republicans finished writing the first draft of a GOP health care bill that would replace Obamacare if passed into law. Opposition is fierce. Obamacare is bad, but it's the only health care policy that might accidentally show you free porn when you go to the website to see if you are covered.


• Congress saw both parties talking past each other in the health care debate. The GOP talks costs while the Democrats talk adequate coverage. Republicans want to lower deductibles and reduce premiums and Democrats are looking for something to reduce the redness in the center of the country.


• President Trump went to the whip to spur Congress to sack Obamacare Thursday. They're in no hurry. If they pass the bill they'll be able to say they saved lives, if they waste an entire year on this bill and accomplish nothing, they will be able to run on all the money they saved the taxpayers.


• House Republicans split over the American Health Care Act rolled out by Speaker Ryan this week. Conservatives called it Obamacare Lite. The phones lines on Capitol Hill were so tied up by angry callers that lawmakers had to use their own cell phones to place their NCAA tournament bets.


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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.


© 2011, Argus Hamilton

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