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Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review March 6, 2017

The News in Zingers

By Argus Hamilton





http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | • The New York Post released a poll saying public regard for House and Senate leaders in both parties and administration officials is at an all-time low. I have figured how to keep congressmen, senators or White House officials from ever speaking to me. I've decided to self-identify as a Russian.


• Rick Perry was confirmed as Energy Secretary Thursday while a brain surgeon became head of HUD and Jeff Sessions agreed he can't be trusted to investigate himself. It gets better. The guy who gave the wrong envelope to Warren Beatty was confirmed as Secretary of Filing Things Properly.


• Attorney General Jeff Sessions recused himself from investigating Russian ties to the Trump campaign Thursday. He's on the hot seat. Democrats are so determined to impeach Jeff Sessions for talking to the Russian ambassador that they've forgotten to impeach him for being a Confederate.


• Capitol Hill broke into a partisan witch hunt Thursday for any Trump Administration official who ever spoke to a Russian. Everyone's under close scrutiny. Ivanka Trump admitted she once heckled Yakov Smirnov in Branson, and Democrats are demanding that she resign as First Daughter.


• Barack Obama is being publicly lobbied by a Paris political group to run for the presidency of France. He can't legally run now because he's not French. However Obama supporters are trying to change the French constitution to allow presidential candidates who were born in the U.S. or Kenya.


• President Trump plans to ask Congress for an extra fifty-four billion dollars for the military in his budget to Congress next week. It'd be nice if we could all be friends. If the terrorists could just see video of Americans at the self-checkout registers, they'd realize they have nothing to fear from us.


• President Trump was in Newport News Thursday to dedicate a new U.S. aircraft carrier named after his fellow president and golfer Gerald R. Ford. He was the most dangerous driver since Ben-Hur. When playing with Ford you had to be in a foursome-you, Jerry, a paramedic and a faith healer.


• Forbes ran an article laying out a financial plan for young people that allows them to retire in forty years with a million dollars. It takes planning and discipline. In Los Angeles, nothing makes you feel stupider than coming home from a riot with ten cases of Pampers and you don't have a kid.


• The Wall Street Journal reported that Barack and Michelle Obama have signed a sixty million dollar His-and-Hers book advance deal with Random House. The Democrats were at a loss for words when they heard the news. Even the Obamas are doing better under President Trump.


• Oprah Winfrey told an interviewer Wednesday that Donald Trump's election made her briefly consider running for president. She dismissed the idea. If Oprah were president, the U.S. would lose money, and then gain money, and then lose money and then gain money, and then blame it on bread.


• President Trump will issue a new order banning people from terror nations amid protests over his orders to build a border wall and repeal Obamacare. Democrats want to impeach him already. It would be the first time in history that a president got impeached for keeping his campaign promises.


• Rory McElroy said Sunday he's taken aback at all the social media anger over his playing golf with President Trump last weekend. He's in big trouble. Democrats may be lousy golfers but they are the world's best at standing near the tee-box and shouting something at the top of your backswing.


• The NFL is holding its rookie combine at the Indianapolis Colts' indoor stadium this week to scout potential draft picks. Not all the top dogs showed up. Quarterback Baker Mayfield decided to stay at Oklahoma his senior year to work on his yes sir, no sir and you are absolutely right, officer.


• President Trump enjoyed rave reviews and national approval for his televised speech to a joint session of Congress Tuesday. It prompted even critics to say this was the night he became president. Hillary Clinton saw how the Oscars ended on Sunday night and thought she might still have a chance.


• The White House hosted news anchors for an off-the-record lunch Tuesday before his speech to Congress. They said he'd be offering immigration reform in his speech but he didn't. Taking a drink every time that President Trump mentions amnesty for illegal aliens is a great way to stay sober.


• Politico sent a reporter to cover Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg's daily workout with her trainer in Washington. Her routine includes push-ups, planks and weightlifting squats. Justice Ginsberg decided to start seriously taking care of her health around midnight on Election Day.


• President Trump enjoyed rave reviews for his presidential demeanor in his speech to Congress Tuesday in front of sixty million viewers. His media critics are scrambling. The Los Angeles Times was so mystified by Trump's moderate tone they're certain somebody was handed the wrong envelope.


• NAACP's Rachel Dolezol, who spray-tanned her face black before being outed by her parents as white changed her name to Nkechi, Nigerian for Gift from G0D. That's going too far. Everyone who lives in L.A. uses spray tan and thinks we're God's Gift, but we don't put it on our driver's licenses.


• The World Health Organization released a medical study Thursday which warned Americans that physical inactivity is the number-one cause of death due to heart disease. That sounds totally illogical. If inactivity killed you, the floor of the U.S. Congress would be littered with dead bodies today.


• Queen Elizabeth celebrated the sixty-fifth anniversary of her coronation and ascension to the throne recently. However she cannot rule without Parliament. The Magna Carta prevented absolute monarchy for five hundred-sixty years before the Americans rebelled and created the U.S. presidency.


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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.


© 2011, Argus Hamilton

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